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Post by Gabster on Nov 29, 2002 14:24:02 GMT -5
Well...I'm sure that it's not that they wouldn't take it seriously...I just really don't trust school admin. It's a really long story, but they somehow got involved in some really personal stuff with me last year...and the way they handled everything was just....bad. So...I really don't want to get the school involved.
But thanks for answering all this stuff, it's really awesome of you! Thanks again! ;D
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Post by x.just.a.little.grL.x on Nov 29, 2002 18:00:28 GMT -5
Hey again Toxic, thanks for the advice about long-distance relationships, but I kind of know for a fact that a LDR wouldn't work in this case. I know, because...we've discussed it when we first started going out. He doesn't want to go to college with attachments, and well frankly, he's not that kind of guy. I mean it just worries me because his longest relationship was 3 months, and he's known to get bored with girls quickly, and all this worries me. He used to call me everyday, and well he still calls, but like he won't call for a day, and I know it's dumb, but things like that worry me. And I called him yesterday when he was at a friends, and I heard a girls voice in the background, and it could be nothing really, but it gets me worried because I'm so scared of losing him, and I just don't want to be the dumpee in this case. I'm just too scared to let things just go, and not worry, because I'm constantly thinking "if my hair looks crappy, will he break up with me? If I said something wrong, will that ruin it?" stuff like that. I have a question though...do guys think about this stuff.. Like I stressed over the fact that he hadn't called me back when he said he would. So does that mean something's wrong, or could he have just simply forgot? Ugh, I don't know.
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Post by -*- Little Miss Strawberry -*- on Nov 30, 2002 11:15:30 GMT -5
Earlier this week, my boyfriend told a mutual friend that he found one of my best friends pretty. This mutual friend, as it turns out, fancies him, and completely wound me up saying he would dump me. Added to that, my boyfriend wasn't completely honest with me about it. The real truth is that he found my best friend pretty, but really likes me. There was also another girl who had majorly been flirting with him. But he still likes me. I've seen him since and we've got on great and all appears sorted, but I just can't stop feeling jealous or posessive about him. If he goes out with a his friends, I get worried he's going to pull one of them or something. I admit it's highly unlikely he would, but my trust in him kind of diminished after this mutual "friend" started spreading these rumours. I don't know what to do. I just wish he would give me more compliments or something, just so I know for definate that he fancies me. I mean, I'm like 99% sure he does, but I just can't stop being all "arrgh, help" kind of like. So yeah. It sucks. Added to that, I can't see him throughout the week, and I miss him. We've been together three weeks, but I feel so close and deeply entwined in him, it's like the first relationship of a more serious kind that I've had. I guess it's just new stuff and new beginnings but... it's just weird.
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 2, 2002 9:41:33 GMT -5
Hi Lost.In.The.Song, so much for "If you need any help, just contact us and we'll help you." Yeh, right. So they throw it back in your lap and it's your fault. Hey, that's what school admins get the big bucks for. <<But thanks for answering all this stuff, it's really awesome of you! Thanks again! >> You're welcome, I'm here to serve. (And I don't even play tennis -- never mind ) ======================================== No, A Long Distance Relationship Will Not Work, Do Guys Think About This Too? Hi x.just.a.little.grL.x <<He doesn't want to go to college with attachments, and well frankly, he's not that kind of guy. I mean it just worries me because his longest relationship was 3 months, and he's known to get bored with girls quickly, and all this worries me.>> Okay this puts a different light on the whole situation. Be very cautious about getting into a deeper relationship with guys like this. Sounds a little like a player to me. But I can also understand that if he wants to concentrate on his studies. I guess I'd like the idea that someone is waiting for me when I'm done, but that's what I like. << He used to call me everyday, and well he still calls, but like he won't call for a day, and I know it's dumb, but things like that worry me. And I called him yesterday when he was at a friends, and I heard a girls voice in the background, and it could be nothing really, but it gets me worried because I'm so scared of losing him, >> Yes, be careful about being too possessive, especially when you already know what he might do. Be cautious, but don't be afraid. Otherwise it will put a chill in the relationship. <<and I just don't want to be the dumpee in this case. I'm just too scared to let things just go,>> Hmm, but you were ready to be the dumper. Were you scared to let things go bad, or scared to let things go further and farther? << and not worry, because I'm constantly thinking "if my hair looks crappy, will he break up with me? If I said something wrong, will that ruin it?" stuff like that. >> Hey, if a guy dumps you because your hair isn't perfect then you don't need someone so hyper-critical anyway. <<I have a question though...do guys think about this stuff.. Like I stressed over the fact that he hadn't called me back when he said he would. So does that mean something's wrong, or could he have just simply forgot? Ugh, I don't know. >> We think about the types of things girls do. Same questions about different things though. There are only a few guys in this world that have no issues with themselves, they're the ones that come up to you with either a great sense of self-confidence you can't help liking them, or so full of themselves you can smell the cologne before they come through the door. But yes, we fret over why isn't SHE calling, and why is SHE talking to THAT guy, and I hope I don't mess this date up. One more thing. Again I say don't worry so much about getting hurt. It happens. You don't want to wake up one one day and you're 30 years old and never had a relationship. It just looked to me like you were going to set up a pattern of sabotaging future relationships.
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 2, 2002 9:42:39 GMT -5
Wow, couldn't fit all of it in one post! ======================================== She's Pretty, I'm Mixed Up, He Likes Me, But What's Going On? Hi *LilMissStrawberry* I didn't see a definite question but I'll help sort through the other thoughts here. <<Earlier this week, my boyfriend told a mutual friend that he found one of my best friends pretty. This mutual friend, as it turns out, fancies him, and completely wound me up saying he would dump me.>> It may come to a point where you will have to confront this person. And you know why. << Added to that, my boyfriend wasn't completely honest with me about it. >> Give him some slack, don't hold this too much against him just yet. <<The real truth is that he found my best friend pretty, but really likes me. There was also another girl who had majorly been flirting with him. But he still likes me. I've seen him since and we've got on great and all appears sorted, >> Okay, hold onto that, got all these girls flirting with him and it's you he wants to be with. Having seen your picture somewhere, I can see why. <<but I just can't stop feeling jealous or posessive about him. If he goes out with a his friends, I get worried he's going to pull one of them or something. I admit it's highly unlikely he would, but my trust in him kind of diminished after this mutual "friend" started spreading these rumours.>> We do the same stuff. Guys are possessive and jealous. See above. We fret and fume when you don't call, or are short, or are not home. EVERYONE -- you, me, her and him, has insecurities when starting out in a relationship. << I don't know what to do. I just wish he would give me more compliments or something, just so I know for definate that he fancies me. >> He will compliment you when the time comes and he feels it's okay to do so. See, sometimes it may be annoying to women if the compliments come too easy. It may be that when your guy compliments you, he means it! And guess what, guys do the same things. We wish girls weren't so subtle, even when they look right at us and say, "I want to marry you!" I dunno, it still doesn't sink in. <<I mean, I'm like 99% sure he does, but I just can't stop being all "arrgh, help" kind of like. So yeah. It sucks. Added to that, I can't see him throughout the week, and I miss him. We've been together three weeks, but I feel so close and deeply entwined in him, it's like the first relationship of a more serious kind that I've had. I guess it's just new stuff and new beginnings but... it's just weird. >> Take it easy, take it slow. Allow yourself and him to make mistakes. You're both going to. Don't be possessive, but don't be a doormat. If he doesn't call for awhile, assume he's busy. Trust him, trust yourself, listen to your friends only if stories match and they really think something isn't right. Until then and if only until then, enjoy this.
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Post by It's~A~Nova on Dec 2, 2002 22:13:10 GMT -5
Quick question~there's this guy I like as a friend but it would be great if he wanted to be more than friends. My problem is I don't know if that's what he wants. There are times when he's way friendly and flirty and he comes and sees me all the time and I swear he wants to go out. Then I won't here from him for a couple weeks and when I do run into him he's kinda distant. So what's his deal? Does he want me? Does he not? Is he waiting for me to 'make a move'?
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Post by Gabster on Dec 3, 2002 22:42:58 GMT -5
...and so I'm back with another self-created mess. I'll try to make it quick I promise! OK so I thought for a long time about what you said about talking to him about the decision I made and stuff and I prayed about it and I honestly thought I was strong enough to do it. So today I asked him (the guy I was trying to get over) if I could talk to him @ lunch, so he approached me, and I chickened out and didn't talk to him. Because all of a sudden I realized that I really didn't want to. I didn't want to look him in the eye and tell him he still had that power of me, and then say goodbye forever...there's a lot of stuff behind this but it would just be really hard for me. So now my plan is to avoid him...except, #1, I'm terrible @ avoiding people, #2, I know he won't let this go, and #3, I know I can't run away from this. I need to face this and just get closure on it...and yet @ the same time I just can't. I'm so afraid of doing this... Anyways, thanks again for all your help! (and I got the tennis joke )
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 4, 2002 8:38:02 GMT -5
I Don't Know If He Likes Me Or Not.
Hi, Not.Quite.Perfect
<<Quick question~there's this guy I like as a friend but it would be great if he wanted to be more than friends. My problem is I don't know if that's what he wants. >>
To be honest, I can't give you a definite answer.
<<There are times when he's way friendly and flirty and he comes and sees me all the time and I swear he wants to go out. Then I won't here from him for a couple weeks and when I do run into him he's kinda distant. So what's his deal? Does he want me? Does he not? Is he waiting for me to 'make a move'? >>
You might just want to go ahead and ask him. Be easy, cautious and slow. Just ask him if maybe he'd like a closer relationship and tell him what you'd like to see. Give him and yourself a way out so that you don't hurt him and / or embarrass yourself.
========================================
A Rock And A Hard Place
Hi Lost.In.The.Song
<<OK so I thought for a long time about what you said about talking to him about the decision I made and stuff and I prayed about it and I honestly thought I was strong enough to do it. >>
You're going to have to do this at some time.
<<So today I asked him (the guy I was trying to get over) if I could talk to him @ lunch, so he approached me, and I chickened out and didn't talk to him. Because all of a sudden I realized that I really didn't want to. I didn't want to look him in the eye and tell him he still had that power of me, and then say goodbye forever.
Hate to get all analytical here, but you are giving him that power.
<<..there's a lot of stuff behind this but it would just be really hard for me. So now my plan is to avoid him...except, #1, I'm terrible @ avoiding people, #2, I know he won't let this go, and #3, I know I can't run away from this. I need to face this and just get closure on it...and yet @ the same time I just can't. I'm so afraid of doing this...>>
You will have to do this sometime and you should do it before the year is out. You don't want this to hurt your faith, and think about how this is affecting YOU everyday. You can't let someone affect you like that. Do it before the year is out, then start the new year clean. Beleive me when you do this, it will be a great relief for you.
Otherwise the remainder of your school year will be miserable and it will be increasingly harder for you to face the day. And to push my point, I'll bet your song writing has hit a wall, the ideas aren't coming easily. This happens when you're under alot of stress, so talk to this guy.
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Post by tootrickyforyou on Dec 4, 2002 18:07:49 GMT -5
Toxic, I can never say enough how great you are! I can't beleive you can answer all these questions! Okay, here's mine. it's more of a ranting, but I just want to know even the slightest hint of what might be going through that boys head...
Okay, there was a guy that I've liked for a while, and he liked me too. We didn't go out or anything, but we've held hands and danced and stuff. Well, the other day, he decided he didn't like me anymore because he didn't want a "serious relationship" like I did (I never said ANYTHING like that) and he just wanted to flirt. I would have been fine with that, but I never offered my hand to him, or asked him to dance, or anything of the sort. I've shown I was interested, but other than that...he's been making all of the moves, and suddenly he thinks that I want a serious relationship? Okay, I know all guys are different, but do you have any clue what might be going through this ones mind??
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 5, 2002 8:50:44 GMT -5
What's Going Through His Mind? Hi A.Moment.Like.This: Okay a few things aren't making sense here: 1. Okay, there was a guy that I've liked for a while, and he liked me too. 2. (We didn't go out or anything,) but we've held hands and danced and stuff. If you didn't offer your hand to him, how was it you were holding hands? And how did you get to dancing with him? You also said that you were interested. <<and suddenly he thinks that I want a serious relationship? Okay, I know all guys are different, but do you have any clue what might be going through this ones mind?? >> Looks to me like he was picking up on cues you didn't mean to give. That or he misinterpreted what you were doing. Not that it matters, I guess since it's he that does not want the relationship or anything serious. I'd say it's him that made the mistake. You may have given him the impression that you were more than interested in him, but early on you found out he wouldn't have lasted anyway, so in this case it's all the better for you. <<Toxic, I can never say enough how great you are! I can't beleive you can answer all these questions!>> Thanks, but you know what? I like doing this. Thing is people just need another view of things. It's hard to see something when you're in it. It's like being in an airplane and seeing how nice and neat everything looks, but at ground level it all looks jumbled and messy. I'm just a cheerleader, everyone here knows what to do, I'm just helping them organize it. And on that note, anyone here is welcome to give their opinions and advice too.
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Post by -*- Little Miss Strawberry -*- on Dec 7, 2002 7:44:18 GMT -5
<<The real truth is that he found my best friend pretty, but really likes me. There was also another girl who had majorly been flirting with him. But he still likes me. I've seen him since and we've got on great and all appears sorted, >>
Okay, hold onto that, got all these girls flirting with him and it's you he wants to be with. Having seen your picture somewhere, I can see why Lol... where have you seen my picture? Waa this is scary Nice thing to say though. Thanks for the comments. I think stuff is getting sorted out. The main problem which we were chatting about yesterday, is that we don't/can't see each other Monday-Friday which gets me paranoid and he just misses me. It's weird.
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Post by Gabster on Dec 7, 2002 14:32:22 GMT -5
Thanks so much, Toxic. It's really awesome of you to answer all these questions. Eh..I talked to him but it didn't really go the way I planned. I just kinda spilled half of it in 5 seconds flat and walked away...and he obviously still doesn't get the point and because I didn't stick around long enough to finish talking it out I didn't get any closure...so I guess I'm going to have to talk to him again and not speak at 464876897 words per minute. Thanks again!
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 7, 2002 21:42:21 GMT -5
Sorting All Out
Hi *LilMissStrawberry* <<Lol... where have you seen my picture? Waa this is scary Nice thing to say though.>>
You're welcome madame. Anyway, I saw your picture up when I stumbled across a website you had. It had bubblegum balls as a background.
<<Thanks for the comments. I think stuff is getting sorted out. The main problem which we were chatting about yesterday, is that we don't/can't see each other Monday-Friday which gets me paranoid and he just misses me. It's weird. >>
See? No reason to worry, he misses you. Unless he's a player, and I don't think he is, he waits for you. Is there another way to contact him, email, instant messaging, stuff like that? Can you call him, or are the phone rates just too high?
======================================== Getting Better!
Hi Lost.In.The.Song
You're welcome, but you see you have to talk to him. At least you may have just confused him. Now I suspect it will be a little easier for you to talk to him. Just don't speak 46-487-6897 words cuz I might try to dial that number. ;D Go ahead, you have to do this and get it off your mind. You can do it, I'm with ya.
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Post by Gabster on Dec 21, 2002 1:50:43 GMT -5
OK...so basically things went like this...I was praying for the strength to be able to talk to him...and all of a sudden I just got this feeling that I wasn't supposed to be doing this. I felt like God had something He wanted me to learn from this experience, and that rushing it wasn't it. I just came to the realization that I had been trying for oh, a year and a half, to move on, and it hadn't yet worked...and suddenly I just felt really at peace, like I just needed to trust God to handle it. I know it probably seems like I'm just taking the easy way out...but really it took even more of me to say, "OK, God, it's up to you" because I'm a very independent, "let me do it myself type of person". Anyways, so I just wanted to let you know that that's how things worked out. Thanks soooo much for all your help, it really gave me a lot of insight and perspective. You're awesome.
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Dec 23, 2002 8:50:58 GMT -5
<< like I just needed to trust God to handle it. >> Well there ya go! <<I know it probably seems like I'm just taking the easy way out...but really it took even more of me to say, "OK, God, it's up to you" because I'm a very independent, "let me do it myself type of person". >> Oh trust me, you made a great step of faith. You let go and let God as it were. You're welcome, but ultimately it was God that helped you. He was treaching you a lesson, and we all need that sometimes.
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