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Post by x.just.a.little.grL.x on Mar 28, 2002 11:26:42 GMT -5
Toxic, my problem is pretty simple, but nonetheless seems all the more complicated. Well, I really want to hang out with this one guy friend because I'm interested in him (that he doesn't know) and I just really want to become closer with him. The problem is, he lives in a different town, maybe like 15 minutes away, and I see him maybe once a month at parties and get-togethers and stuff, and we do a lot of flirting and talking there, but I talk to him on the computer a lot too. And he always seems to eager to talk, like he asks me questions, and we have really good conversations - just about our lives and stuff. Well I want to ask him to hang out, but I don't want him to think that I'm just trying to get with him, because we've never really hung out by ourselves, always in groups. I mean sure, at parties, we've gone off somewhere and just talked, but never by ourselves. How do I casually mention the topic of us hanging out without seeming like I like him (I'm shy, and so is he, and if it turns out he's not interested, I don't want to ruin the friendship)? Thanx!
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Mar 28, 2002 12:44:46 GMT -5
What Color Is Your Underwear? Hi vbkimber07: This is a strange one, because this guy might very well have actually asked you to the prom. But in our classic male style, he danced around actually coming out and asking you directly. If you are unsure, it's better to ask, and find out he WAS joking, than to blow it off and have him mad at you. All I can say is ask him if he was serious. The few minutes of awkwardness is better that making him think you rejected him because you thought something different. But everything I can see here is the strong possiblity that he was serious about asking you to the prom. ============================================ I Want To Get With Him, But I Don't Want It To Be Obvious Hi AFChicka: 1) I'm interested in him (that he doesn't know) and I just really want to become closer with him. 2) Well I want to ask him to hang out, but I don't want him to think that I'm just trying to get with him, Are you sure about that? The reaosn I'm asking is that you're saying two different things here. Second, the 15 minute distance shouldn't be a problem, unless you just can't get there without a car. What ever you say or do is going to catch this guy's attention. As I've said before, talk to this guy, explain your feelings. TELL him you'd like to maybe try going out. But also tell him that you still want his friendship if it doesn't work. Let him know that you don'thave all the answers either and see what happens. Just be very clear that you want to try a relationship, but not at the expense of a friendship. Be yourself. Tell him what you feel and what you'd like to try. It doesn't have to be anything huge, just dinner at McDonald's or something so that there's alot of people still. Or maybe just a walk around town and stop at a coffee house so that things don't get too intimate.
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vbkimber07
Junior Member
Welcome to my World
Posts: 219
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Post by vbkimber07 on Mar 28, 2002 18:26:31 GMT -5
Toxic-- He WAS serious! Yay!! Now, I just hope he wasn't serious about wearing only a leopard print thong. LOL!! Thanks. ~Kimber
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Post by excessive_energy2 on Apr 13, 2002 15:29:44 GMT -5
I feel so bad, thank you very much Toxic, I really appreciate it, now I know!Finally!
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dizzyupthegirl
Full Member
definition of hot: look at that ^^^
Posts: 370
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Post by dizzyupthegirl on Apr 16, 2002 14:20:34 GMT -5
Heya toxic...... it has been a long time ( has it been a long time???) since last time i've been here. Well ill fill you in.... the guy that i like before? remember him? well he is not interested in me. So i'm over him ( not really... but lez pretend.. lol). And i've been flirting with a whole bunch of guys.... and its great!!!! lol.... well back to reality....
There is this guy.... lez call him Jack. Well Jack and I were together last year for a little while. But then we broke up. It was one of those break ups that is nasty. So we are not really in good terms ( we're friends but we get uncomfortable, well at least i do, when we talk about our love life). So Jack now has a gf. She seems kewl and she is really pretty. But she has some kind of cancer. She is a bit well now and she is not going to die ( she has about 40% chance of living... so phew...). Jack has been very faithful to her ( thats what he told me) and I think his gf really need that, and i'm proud of him. But lately... i've been having this little crush on him. But i try to eliminate the feeling cuz i mean... i felt really bad if i try to flirt with him. But one day, i cudnt control myself and i flirt a whole lots ( more than i shud) with him. Surprisingly, he flirt back. I was having too much fun to notice that i shud not do this kinda stuff with a guy who already has a gf. I felt really bad afterwards. Now he is saying how wonderful his gf is, and how happy he is that his gf is well. I dont know why i wrote this. Cuz i mean do u think i have a guy problem?> i just need to tell sum1 i. and i want a guy opinion on this i guess.....
Okay.... now a real situation where i need HELP!
Okay i have this bestfriend. Lez call her Britney. Well Britney ( for some reason... i have no idea why she do the things she does... huh? am i making sense???) is going out with TWO guys. She said that going out doesn't necesserely (sp?) mean taht she is bf/gf wit them. Now i want to say something about it. I totally disagree wit her. But I'm afraid i mite pissed her off. Now I dont want to do taht, cuz me and her are in a sorta bad terms already ( long story, save it for anotehr time). I have been in the past, play with two guys. And by doing that i earned my self a very bad reputation. Now all of the ppl in my grade knows that she is doing this stuff to these two guys. But they dont think taht she is a player. She has done this before to other guys. I only done it once, and i did it because i thought i was in love with both guys. Now i know taht she is not inlove with these guys. So what shud i do? shud i tell the guys about this? or shud i just butt out and mind my own bussiness?
Oh another question: In my grades the guys are perverts. THey start to be a bit touchy with me. Now its alrite to flirt, but they gone way too far. I dont want to report this stuff to a teacher, cuz im not a tatle teller. So what shud i do? And do guys my age (13) think about sex alot? cuz it seems like that is the only thing that they are thinking about all the time....
Toxic.... sorry if this is long......!!!!!
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Post by KattyKatie on Apr 17, 2002 13:41:57 GMT -5
Toxic, I need your help again! I've never really had trouble talking to guys before but that's because I've never really CARED about anyone this much before! There's this one guy who is so totally perfect for me! We have a million things in common and we get along great! The problem is that I'm to scared to ask him if he feels the same way! Pathetic I know but I can't help it! I really want to get the nerve to "ask him out" but I need to have confidence in his response first. Here's where you come in: Could you tell me some signs that a guy is interested in a girl? Like how do they act, body language, stuff like that. And also, if a girl asked you out and you said no, would you act all weird around her?
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Apr 18, 2002 9:21:14 GMT -5
Hi excessive_energy2. Anything else I can help you with, let me know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Am I Normal? I'm Not Over Him Yet, And She Goes Out With Two Other Guys. Hi dizzyupthegirl: You do not have a guy problem, in fact what's affecting you is perfectly normal. You and this guy broke up, but you still have feelings for him. That happens. You can't just turn off your feelings like a switch. The question is, what are you going to do about it? If anything, ask this guy is if it's possible that you two could get back together. The answer, I think we both know, would hopefully and should be, "no." It may make him uncomfortable, but it would settle your mind a little bit. 'No' would be better than, "should I, could I, Maybe I should, and "I wonder if . . . ." <<So i'm over him ( not really... but lez pretend.. lol). >> See? And since he already has a girlfriend, it wouldn't be right for him to just dump her either. You just have to work through this so you can put it behind you and move on. Now as for your next question, stay out of it. You don't need the trouble. If you're not on good terms with her, then nothing will be accomplished here either. That, or the rest of your school year will be hell. <<She said that going out doesn't necesserely (sp?) mean taht she is bf/gf wit them. >> See, she may not have much of an attachment to either of them, and they don't mind either. << cuz me and her are in a sorta bad terms already >> Yes, you're not doing anyone any good by telling anyone. If the friendship is strained already with this girl, then don't add to it because these things always come back to you. Next question: I don't know what the statistic is on 13 year-old boys thinking about sex. It was never my first thought and neither was it with my other classmates. I wonder if it depends on where you live and stuff like that. The touching is probably not a big deal, but if it's making you uncomfortable, then it is a big deal and you have every right and probably a duty, to report it. Anonymously if you have to. If these boys are aggressive in the touching then that's a warning. Stay away from them as much as possible.
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Hi snowbunny, happy to help as much as you need. Not quite an answer to your question but:
<<We have a million things in common and we get along great! The problem is that I'm to scared to ask him if he feels the same way!>>
What exactly do you two have in common? 8) Ask him about it, say you both like a certain author and strike up a conversation about it.
Answer to your question, in no order, pay attention to: Is he paying an unusual amount of attention to you? Is he always at a function he knows you'll be at? Does he go out of his way to sit next to you? Does he offer to help you with something even if it's simple? Does he look at you and smile alot.
(Psst! One giveaway we absolutely cannot hide if we like a girl. Our pupils dialate when we see you.) But that works both ways. Depending on the guy, they might touch your shoulder or arm, sort finding out how much or how far they can touch. There might be a little shyness in there too, a funny awkward smile for example.
<<if a girl asked you out and you said no, would you act all weird around her? >>
I wouldn't, I'd have to be honest with her, but I wouldn't turn into a jerk. It would be awkward to be around her because I may have been a jerk by turning her down anyway. I'd just have to hope she didn't feel too bad.
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dizzyupthegirl
Full Member
definition of hot: look at that ^^^
Posts: 370
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Post by dizzyupthegirl on Apr 19, 2002 11:37:12 GMT -5
Thanx Toxic.......
Me and my ex bf will remain friends.... cuz he is so happy with his gf i dont want to ruin nething. so everything is cool with him 8)
as for the guys that are touchy with me, well i'll try to stay away. Oh and if they do touch me again, my best guy friend wud confront them. And they are afraid of my best guy friend. Cuz he is pretty tall, and he is two years older than me.... so eveyrthing wud be cool 8)
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Post by SunShine on Apr 21, 2002 23:57:58 GMT -5
Hey Toxic. I have another question. I posted this in The Official 'I need quick advice' Thread, but I wanted a guy's point of view too. I have had the biggest crush on this guy for about 7 months, and he has known that I like him for about two months. I sit by him in one of my classes so I have the opportunity to talk to him everyday, but I can never think of anything good to say, except something like "so how is your day going," or "what are you doing this weekend," and stuff about homework. He doesn't ever try to start a conversation either, and he never makes eye contact. My friends say I should ask him out, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. Should I take the chance? If I should, do you think it would be better for me to write a letter, have a friend tell him, or tell him myself, face to face?
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on Apr 22, 2002 11:30:56 GMT -5
You're welcome dizzyupthegirl. Glad you have someone -- your best guy friend to back you up. ======================================= I Like Him, Does He Like Me? Should I Ask Him? <br>Hi SunShine Get past the business stuff okay? The, "how's your week" is done. I'm not sure how far you go into it, but elaborate on the homework, what was it, was was involved, how did he do it, or how does he think he did on it? <br> You don't have to think of anything profound to say, just ask him stuff. What does he think of the weather, the trouble in the Middle East. Ask his opinion on it, or about pollution, or go deep with religion. <br> I'd ask him out. Like I tell everyone else here, go ahead, and find out. If he doesn't like you, don't take it personally, but move on. It's better than wondering if he likes you and finding out he did. His body language may be a front, maybe he doesn't know what to tell you or ask you either. <br> I won't gaurantee anything, but you have to make the first move on this. Whether he likes you or not, you should find out so you can do what you have to do. Do it in a way that's comfortable for you. Talk to him so he knows, or write him a letter if that's what you prefer. That will give you time to compose your thoughts and put down what you really want to say to him.
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Post by SunShine on Apr 22, 2002 18:49:05 GMT -5
Thank you Toxic. I'm so nervous.
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Post by x.just.a.little.grL.x on Apr 26, 2002 11:28:48 GMT -5
Heyy, Toxic, I come here once again with problems. LoL.
Well here goes...This is something pretty general, might pertain to a few guys, but just a problem I've had with most guys. I'm a really cool person (No, I don't have a big ego, but I know that I'm fun to hang out with), and I have a lot of guy friends because of it, because I can just be one of the guys and hang out and talk and it's just normal. And I used to love this, I mean I had guys as friends and I could talk to them about anything. But lately, as I meet more and more guys (who are usually friends of my guy friends), I get so frustrated because I hang out with friends of my guy friends, and then those guys start to see that I joke around with guys, and I'm cool like that (I know this all sounds very confusing), and then they start to think "Hey, she would be a great friend, which pisses me off. Sure I flirt with my guy friends (like cuddling and cracking jokes about us getting together), but I always know with some guys it will be like we're brother and sister. But with a few guys in particular, I wish it would be more. And the way they see me sucks, because they see me as their friend, not just some girl who they could hook up with. And I hate that complex so much. I just wish that I could make some guys see me as more. But, how can I shake off this "I'm like your kid sister" complex? ::)Thanks for helping!!
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Post by GabiGirl23 on Apr 30, 2002 20:42:55 GMT -5
OK, I have two questions. The first one is...ok, well, I have this really good guy friend. We talk a lot, and we're really close, he's one of my best friends in the world. He knows a lot about my life and he's there for me through everything. A while ago I started having feelings for him, but they kinda died today. We were at lunch and he was just being *really* immature. He's always like this around his friends, who are also VERY immature. I just don't get it. When it's just him and me, he's a total sweetie, and one of the best guys around. When it's him and me and his friends, he's so immature. Why??? (By the way, if it helps any, he's liked me since the beginning of the school year). The second one is sorta simple too. I was hanging out with this guy at lunch yesterday, and neither one of us know the other one really well, but he was super nice and everything. I'm pretty sure he was flirting with me, but not fully sure. He kept playing with my hair, affectionately teasing me about my freckles, trying to tickle me, letting me try on his glasses, and telling me to smile so that he could see if I had dimples (I do) and then he touched my face and told me how cute they were. Is he flirting with me? If he does this often does it mean he likes me? I kinda like him, so I'm hoping that's what it is. lol I am so clueless when it comes to guys (sorry!). Thanks so much in advance!!!!
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Post by Toxic-Avenger on May 1, 2002 12:17:17 GMT -5
I Like Being Friends But I Want Something More Hi AFChika: There are several reasons I can see here. There's nothing you can really do about it, and there's nothing or anyone at fault here. 1) You might just feel so comfortable around these guys that maybe a certain sex appeal is gone. Now that you joke around with them and stuff, it allows them to feel more comfortable around you and it also allows them to relax. There's no "thrill of the chase, forbidden-off-limits-so-far-away thing." 2) Having built up such a friendship, some of those guys may WANT more than just friendship too, but we always have this demon in the back of our minds that if we ask you out, we risk trashing the friendship. That's not true I found out, but that's what might also be going on here too. So we would rather have your friendship than feel like we're risking it. 3) You have lots of guy friends, enjoy it! 4) I'm sure a few are interested in you, they'll come around, give it some time and see what happens. 5) You said you might have some feelings for a couple of these guys. Time to be a little proactive. Pull them aside and tell them what's on your mind. Or just plan a one on one outing with one you really like. Nothing fancy, just comfortble. Maybe open up a bit emotionally to him, tell him what makes you tick. ======================================== He's So Immature; Is He Flirting With Me? Hi GabiGirl23: <<I started having feelings for him, but they kinda died today.>> 1 1A) Okay, think about this. If feelings can go out so quick than I'd wonder if the feelings you had were strong to begin with. Just an observation. 2A) As to being immature around his friends and sweet around you. I don't think it's just that. Thing is, he likes you apparently and will treat you and act different than he does around his buddies. It may be because he's more comfortable around his friends and that is why he acts that way around them. 3A) It may not be immaturity but normal male behavior. Or trying to puff himself up as "The Man" because now he has to make time for his friends as well as you. With you, he's dealing with feelings he's never had before or never expected. Give him some time. 2 2A) YES! Everything you said he did, was flirting with you. Girls do the same, especially the touching. Go for it! Also, watch the pupils of his eyes. If they dialate, it's a sure sign he likes you. Yours will do the same if you like him. Have fun!
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Post by GabiGirl23 on May 2, 2002 18:31:29 GMT -5
Thanks so much Toxic..your advice really helped! About Justin, the immature guy friend, I realized you were right...my feelings weren't that strong for him. He's part of my little boy crazy stage I go through when I try and get over another guy. But I do have one more question (sorry!). It's about the guy who was flirting with me. Well, people say he likes my best friend. But he still flirts with me a LOT...more than with her which doesn't make sense. He's always putting his arm around me and hugging me and talking to me in between classes. So what's up with this? Thanks SOOOO much - you're awesome!!!
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