Guy's Minds Revealed; Why Does He Do That?

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Toxic, you are a lifesaver! An actual guy who gives good advice (Believe me, I've tried advice on stuff from my guy friends...They're no help, just a bunch of dumb asses who want ass-heehee)

Well here's the prob...I'm so into my friend, who I've known for about three years.  He's kind and sweet and funny, and nice to pretty much everyone.  Except me.  Well he's nice, but he's like a sarcastic flirty nice.  Like we're always bickering over the dumbest stuff, and he teases me a lot.  (My friend, who's his friend too -its a girl- thinks he likes me because she's known him since birth and says he usually doesn't act like that around girls because he's so shy)..Well anyways, we used to flirt a lot.  He would cuddle with me and one time he rested his head on my lap while we were watching a movie, and he would put stuff down his shirt and tell me to get it, and tickle me and stuff (What the hell do these things really mean?).  We still talk, but somehow it lost the whole "cuddling" feel.  Like we still tease eachother, but I can still sense that's he still a little shy around me. I really wanted to ask him to be my valentine for V-Day, but instead I told him about the guy that gave me flowers (a guy that likes me) in order to make him jealous. And then of course he told me about some girl he was buying a teddy bear for, and I was jealous.  So basically, with all these things in mind, I have two questions..I'm going to be seeing him more sooon so 1) how do I get him to open up more?  and 2)  Does trying to make him jealous by telling him about other guys really work? I know this was long, but pppleaaasee help!!!    

[Toxic-Avenger]

I Like Him, But It's Not A Crush.

Hi vbkimber07
I'm doing fine, thank you.
I guess what I'm seeing here is you do like him, and perhaps you wouldn't mind planting one on his cheek once in a while.  This is nothing more than just an affection and I don't think there's anything more than playful flirting or enjoying your friendship with this guy.  He may be annoying but you're comfortable around him to flirt, but "not that way."  Again, I don't exactly see sparks but I can't tell you what you feel.
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Ah, Madamoiselle Spastic.fruit.  You ahre enamored by my charhms, no?   ;D

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He's Shy, Should I Make Him Jealous
   
Hi AFChicka, thank you.
This may take more than one post.  Let me know.

<< he usually doesn't act like that around girls because he's so shy)..Well anyways, we used to flirt a lot.>>

It's not that he doesn't like you anymore, it may be because he likes you more than ever.  But he may think he's lost you or is ready to move on to another girl.

<<He would cuddle with me and one time he rested his head on my lap while we were watching a movie, and he would put stuff down his shirt and tell me to get it, and tickle me and stuff (What the hell do these things really mean?).>>

Like you said, he's flirting with you.

<< We still talk, but somehow it lost the whole "cuddling" feel.  Like we still tease eachother, but I can still sense that's he still a little shy around me.>>

You two have known each other for a long time.  He's still interested in you but it's slowly going away.  Since he's shy, he may feel like he's not worth your time.  He flirts with you alot and is probably waiting for some sign, A CLEAR SIGN that you like him, if that's what you want.

So how do you get him to open up more?  One way is to get him alone, maybe at your place or a bench at school and talk to him.  Tell him how you feel and what you'd like to see happen between you and him.  Tell him you understand he's shy and assure him that you don't need answers from him immediately.  Depending on the degree of shyness he has to deal with, some people who are shy have a really hard time opening up, even though they are screaming inside.  Some shyness is being afraid of what others may think about them, or just uncomfortable starting a conversation with even someone they know.

Don't try to make him jealous.  All that does is drive a wedge between the two of you, and may kill off any friendship with you and him.  If he sees you with another guy, he'll just think you're not interested in him anymore and that's it for both of you.  He's shy, so he's not likely to put up much of an argument that you should go with him instead of someone else.  Just be patient with him, he may need some confidence building first.  I don't know how shy he is.

[Belle Diamante]

I have a question, well, actually a few. First of all, do you believe in fate? or destiny? Also, do you believe love can last even after a few years when two people don't see each other and hardly know each other? Thanks  

[dizzyupthegirl]

okay...
here's the story:
i really really like this guy.. and just a few mins ago on msn.. .he told me he love me..
Now do u boys always say that to a friend? or u guys just say it to ur gf or a hint that u like her?
I'm confuse...!

[x n0ise]

That would be pretty confusing...

[uRbAn_CeLtiC]

[glow=teal,2,300]tO fUnNy![/glow] >bursts out laughing< u peepo r crazie!

[x n0ise]

^^Um, yeah...and why are we crazy?

Ahh, Toxic...such a charmer!   ;D

[ladyluv]

Hey toxic avenger! I have a [glow=blue,2,300]"guy problem" [/glow]but I think I already know the answer I just need patience and encouragement...


So I've just started to build a friendship with this guy b.c we're in the school play together. Right from the start when rehursals started to get heavier there has been something between us. More flirt. But the way he looks into my eyes I KNOW there is something more between the two of us and we both only have positive and encouraging things to say to eachother. THere was even a time when we spent about 10-15 minutes alone talking on the empty stage (which was an easily escapable scenario) he makes me feel so wonderful. He and I ...its just the way he looks into my eyes that makes me so happy. he has come out of his way to sit beside me and I go out of my way to be near to him too. but not ALL the time because "clinging" is not ma style ya know. I see him flirt with other girls too but for some reason I don't think its the same kind of thing as it is with me. I dont' know why I'm writing this LoL um...bascially. He always looks to get my attention and he gets it becasue he makes me laugh he has these beautiful sincere eyes and we have a similar friend base...that Is he's popular but I know his best friend fairly well...his sister slept over at my house for the cast party and he called to talk to her but he asked for ME when he called...anywho he called to say thankyou agian and to talk to her...I...I like him *giggles*

now, does it seem like this guy could be into me?

I also don't really want to rush anything...but I'm afraid if I wait too long that nothing could come of of a possibly awesome situation...

he's so...caring and polite and intelligent and articulate and witty and nice *sigh* yet I can still be "normal" around him...I'm not all "gaga" I like that I like that alot

Sorry I'm babbling :0) thanx 4 yer time!

[girlpoet21]

Toxic, I got one for you. A couple months ago, this guy I know kind of well, asked me out. I said yes, and we talked about it a little. Then he says, "Well, maybe another time." Um, okay I thought we were gonna go out, and then he does this.

So now I feel weird every time I see him, and he still acts like he likes me, but now I wouldn't go out with him even if he asked, and that's for two reasons. One, I can't really trust him now. Two, I've decided not to date, but to wait to court, which has nothing to do with him. Okay so here's my questions. First off, why did he do this? Secondly, what do I say to him if he asks me out again? This is all very confusing.

[Toxic-Avenger]

Fate, Destiny, and Love

Hi Labeautiful:
Good question.  I don't beleive in fate or destiny.  Reason being I am a Christian.  I beleive God directs my life.  To clear that up, as long as I am active in my life and don't wait for things to happen that won't, God will be there with me in my life's decisions.  There's the popular saying, "God helps those who help themselves."  It should be, "Seek first, the Kingdom of Heaven, and all this shall be added to you."   God will help me as long as I seek Him, and sometimes even if I don't which is how He'll catch my attention.

For example, I am looking for my significant other, and a better position of employment.  God will give those to me, but I have to do some of the work and be actively involved with asking some girls out, and sending out resume's and going on interviews.  God isn't going to just drop a girl into my lap and a W2 form into my mailbox.   <br>
Your second question.  Love can last as long as you have feelings for someone, and I think I know who you are referring to.  No one can tell you how long after someone leaves your life, that you should stop loving them.  If they are not available, then it's best that the idea of ever seeing them again, is put out of your mind.  The reality is, neither me nor anyone else can tell you how and what to feel and when.  Or for how long.  I've had to deal with the same situation myself, and it's not easy.  No matter what you do, things will remind you of this person, and it may be strong, or just being aware, Unless you don't have a pulse, you will always love someone, somehow.  <br>  <br>==================================================
He Says He Loved Me Online

Hi dizzyupthegirl

It depends on the situation.  We might say, "I love you," to someone online, just to play with the girl.  It depends on what we're talking about.  It can be a friendly greeting or something more serious.  Maybe he's setting the stage for what he really wants to tell you.  Or not.  There's no good way to tell what he's thinking, and for the moment, I wouldn't read too much into it yet.  If he continues to do it, then he's hinting that he wants more than a few typed messages.  <br>===================================================
It's Confusing.

Hi spastic.fruit:
Sometimes there's just not that much to read into what goes on.  We humans love to complicate everything and make it harder than what it is.  I really think we are losing the ability to communicate with each other.  It's one thing for me to spout all my wisdom here, but how often do people get to do that while sitting around in a room with flesh and blood people?  And how many people don't we really know unless we've talked to them online for a time and finally get to meet them in real life.  Only to find out we wouldn't have given them a second thought, because of what we think they think.  <br>
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Welcomeo uRbAn_CeLtiC, I can be a scream sometimes.   ;D

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Is He Into Me?

Hi ladyluv

Sho' sounds like it to me.  And congratulations to you that when he looks at other girls you know he still keeps his attention on you.  If only guys could do that.  From what you said, this guy could be into you, and I would take action.  You can wait if you want, but not too long.  Do it within the next three weeks.  Ask him out, or at least tell him how you feel, and how he makes you feel about him.  He be not so smart to refuse you.  <br>
<<he's so...caring and polite and intelligent and articulate and witty and nice *sigh* yet I can still be "normal" around him...I'm not all "gaga"  I like that I like that alot>>

Tell him that, maybe word it better,   but tell him that.  You have nothing to lose.  <br>==================================================

He Backed Out Of A Date, Now What?

Hi girlpoet21:
That's strange that he would do that.  Maybe he backed out because he was a little nervous.    

If he asks you out again, ask him why he backed out the first time.  Ask him, why you should think a second time would be different and can you trust him?   Go with your own instincts, if it doesn't feel right to go out with him, then don't, and tell him why.

[KattyKatie]

Ok I have *another* guy problem. Actually 2. I guess I'm a little guy-challenged.

1)There's one guy who is super-nice and really into me, the only problem is he's fat. I feel awful for feeling this way but I'm just not attracted to him. How can I tell him withput looking like a superficial little "b*tch" or hurting his feelings?

2) There's another guy who is a year younger than me and I've already told him I'm not interested. The only problem is he refuses to let go, he even has dreams about me! It's really starting to get creepy, is there any way I can help him move on?

[Toxic-Avenger]

I Don't Like Him, But I Don't Want To Be Superficial Either.
 
Hello snowbunny:
Let's face it, all of us want someone with movie star looks no matter how much we try to fool ourselves into thinking we don't and shouldn't.  It wrong, it's fake, it's superficial.  Guess what, we all do it and we're going to continue to do it even as much as we fight it.

All I can say is, you're not attracted to him.  And so you're not attracted to him.  Be honest with him and yourself.  Next time he asks you out, tell him, nicely, politely, honestly, you would rather not.  You're not lying because it's true, and you're not really into him either.  Attractivess is kind of a two way street.  He's attracted to you, but you have to have some attractiveness to him.  Don't go out with him just to conduct a social experiment, because he'll see right through that.  Just tell him it won't work out and leave it at that, don't explain.

Question number two, there's nothing you can do at this point about his dreaming about you, and to make him move on.  What do you mean "let go?"  If he's looking at you then there's not much you can do about that.  If it's at the point where he's making phone calls, putting letters in your books and locker, and invading your space, then you have to take action, either with the school Principal or even on up to legal action.  

[Belle Diamante]

Great answer Toxic.   I'm a Christian myself, and I do believe that God will direct my life. Actually, it reminds me a lot of philosphies we were studying in history. How nature usually directs the flow of life, and this situation, perhaps love. But only, nature is God. So are you saying God is our fate for everything in life? Because if God does direct us, then I do refer to Him as 'fate' in a way.  ;D

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Alright, Toxic, nother guy problem here...  

Well this is about a different guy than the one I already mentioned, he's just someone I really don't know to well, but want to know better, if you get my drift LoL.  Anyway's he's very nice, and cute, and he's just an awesome guy, and well we've just been talking more lately.  Well my question is that he said to his friend that he thinks I'm pretty, but doesn't think I'm his type (looks wise).  Yet, he seems really interested in talking to me and stuff.  Was what he said a polite way to say "Ew,get away from me," ? LoL. Please help, thankks.  

[girlpoet21]

Thanks Toxic. Wow you're busy. I think I'll just tell him no, and that I don't date, I'm waiting (which is true). I hate to hurt his feelings, though he hurt mine. I gotta find a quick and somewhat painless way of doing it though, because (and I forgot to mention this), he works at McDonalds. In the drive thru. Okay, I'm strange, I go to McD's a *lot*. And then I don't want him spitting in my food or something. I know, I'm weird. I did know him pretty well though, considering we only talked over fries. But I eat a lot of fries. Anyways, I'm rambling, a common thing with me. Thanks!


P.S. I agree with you about there not being fate or destiny, only God. I feel better knowing that too.