Friend Problems..

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Okay, well I really need help.  I have many really nice kool friends whom I'm close to, and really, most times I love them, I really do, but it's weird because sometimes I get so jealous of all of them.  Most of them are really really pretty and have boyfriends and can do all these things, and sometimes I feel like "What am I doing with these people?" because I could never compare to them, and sometimes I feel like I bring nothing to our group. And sometimes I feel so forgotten, and I've told them this and they keep telling me they love me and that I'm a great person and fun, blah blah blah. But sometimes when I hang out with them, I tend to think that it doesn't matter if I'm there or not because it feels like I'm always left out of something, and sometimes I am because everyone is always so busy with their own lives.  How do I make myself more included with out sounding like a drama queen or attention hog?

[AloneInACrowd]

I have a problem with my friends.  Two weeks ago, Nicolle starts to hang out with us.  I was happy and I didn't mind at all cuz to me it was like the more the merrier.  Well last week, Matt and Nikki have started to ditch me for Nicolle and leave me behind at lunch, didn't tell me they made plans without me, and not even asking if I wanted to go to the Pajama jam with them.  I wouldn't have mind at all if they told me that they just wanted to do something for the three of them but it really hurt me that they didn't even bother to tell me what they were doing.  I was talking to Alyssa and she told me that they have been ditching her as well.  I found out from her that Nicolle just hangs out with them cuz her best friend is always with her boyfriend 24/7 and she just hangs with them because 1) She can never be alone and 2) they both drive.  But I really don't have anything against her.  I think she really doesn't like me cuz when she first started to hang out with us, I would try to talk to her and say hi at school but she doesn't really respond much to me.  I really don't know what to do.  It seems like Matt and Nikki don't really notice when I'm hurt or sad (this is not the first time this has happend btw).  What should I do?

[BX_Finest_Girl]

Well i always have the same problem with the same friend. The problem is that she feels like i flat leave her. Well let me start from the begining so that you would understand me.
Me and her hang out with a big group of friends. Theres more then 11 people. And sometimes i have to do things with them and i tell her, and them she comes out that i be flat leaving her for them. But heres the deal that when she be leaving me i don't say nothing because i know that i'm not her only friend and maybe she has something to do. Well one day she got really mad at because of that and them l just had to let her know the situation and since them we became closer. And now i know that if you just talk about your problems and how you feel about things that bother you, things will get better.
so now we are closer and understand each other better, and we still hang out with the croud. ;D

[sweet_dreams]

problem 4 me is I don't think I have any real friends at the moment  

[MiSs_uNdErStoOd]

I can't really sum up my problem in a few sentences so bear with me.

I have this friend who’s EXTREMELY competitive with me and it's annoying. We are in the same gym class and she always tries to be better than me. I like sports, I play them for fun, and I’m not the competitive type. She always goes on and on about if she were a better athletic like Ana, or me my other friend than the guys would like her a lot better. But to be honest, a lot of guys don't like her because of her attitude.

When we played volleyball, I would call for the ball and she would basically push me aside and bump the ball. This didn't just happen once though, it happened a few times. When we played basketball, I decided I didn't want to go on the competitive team so I went on the beginners and she decided to come with me. The whole time we were there she complained about how we should be on the competitive team, so I said you could have gone on the competitive team if you wanted to and then she didn't say anything. Now, we're doing track and me, her, and two other girls were racing for the 100 m and she kept going on and on and on about how I was going to leave them in the dust, and I kept saying no that's not true. In the end I let her beat me, I didn't think it was a big deal. It was just a race for gym. This was the first time she beat me. Anyway, a friend of mine said to me while we were in the locker room, good job you did really good and she looks at my other friend and goes you did good too, you both looked tied the whole entire time. And Amy, the competitive one goes well she got a better start than me but I BEAT HER in the end. And I just walked away.

Amy is number one in our grade and she's a huge perfectionist. Lately I've been noticing that she's been looking over my shoulder every time we get our tests and quizzes back, especially in English because I'm getting better grades than her in that class.

She always says that she doesn't understand why people hate her. She says she has never done anything to them, but I'm starting to understand why people don't like her. It's her attitude.

Last year, we were starting to become close, but since then I've distanced myself from her because she takes out her angry on others. In the beginning of the year, we took school pictures, when both of us were finish-taking pictures we went into the locker room and she flipped out. She looked in the mirror and saw a cowlick in her hair; she started to scream out me and say, "Why didn't you tell me I had THIS THING in my hair!" I told her I didn't even notice it and she goes on to say, "GREAT, I'm going to have to redo my pictures because you didn't tell me I had THIS THING in my hair!" I told her I bet nobody even noticed it, because even the photographer didn't say anything. She's always had this cowlick there and she saw it before she took the pictures and she didn't do anything about it. So I figured it wasn't a big deal. The bell rang and we both went into Algebra 2.

[MiSs_uNdErStoOd]

(cont.)

She sits down and tells ana, my other friend, "I have to redo my pictures because she (looking at me) didn't tell me I had THIS THING in my hair!" My friend goes, I don't even see anything, I'm sure your picture came out fine. But she still made a big scene about it and blamed it on me. She checked the mirror a few times before she took the picture and every time she looked at herself the cowlick was always there and she never did anything about it. But after taking the picture she made a big deal about it then.

Another time, there was something on her shirt, like a piece of leftover food, and I took it off. She turns around and gives me the dirtiest look. I explained to her that she had food on her shirt and she just rolls her eyes. Elizabeth, a friend of mine goes what's her problem. And I told her I don't know.

When I try to talk to her, she starts talking to Ana and pretends I'm not even there. She goes off and starts talking about some inside joke that her and Ana have all the while alienating me. I've tried talking to her a few times and all she does is ignore me. It's not only me she's done this too; she alienates a few of my other friends too.

The other day, she approaches me and asks me why we don't hang out anymore, or talk on the phone, or even talk during school. I told her I tried to talk to her a few times but all she did was ignore. She said that she probably didn't hear me.  I have a feel that the only reason why she wants to talk to me now, is because ana, her only closest friend may be moving this summer and if she moves she'll have no one really to talk to her during her classes.

I'm tried of trying to be her friend. She treats me like dirty, and I don't want to deal with that anymore. Friends don't ignore you when you're talking to them or give you an attitude for no reason. I don't want to deal with this anymore; I don't think I should have to. What should I do?

How am I suppose to deal with her competitiveness when I'm not competitive at all? It's hard to just stand there and take it while she prances around bragging and telling everyone I beat her I beat her. What do I do? I don't want to be her friend anymore? Is that wrong?

I Changed the names

[burtonangel146]

i dont know if any one here remembers me having friend problems with Brittany, well....

i usually copy a few problems from her math homework every so often at first it was fine.  but then she was like well what if i dont let you any more and im like i dont care, cuase i do my hw just not all of it, there were a few times when i was desperate and had to copy the whole assignment but that was it.  I let her copy my history homeowork when she needed it, so its not like i wasnt doing her a favor.  Well just this week i was like brit can i copy ur hw?  and she was like yea and im like promise and she goes yea.  well she normally waits for me after 3rd period to give me the hw ( i needed 2 problems) and she booked outta there.  My friend Sheila was like what the hell is her problem and im like i dont know.  Then luckily she left her fleece in her class so i caught her in the hall way and i was like do u have the hw and shes like yea its in the locker room cuz she was going to gym.  and im like well can i copy the 2 problems in the beginning of math and she was like yea.  so i copied to problems..she must have told her sister Kim cuz Kim came up to me in the hall the next morning and was all bitchy and was like i dont want you coping my sisters hw anymore if u wanna pass ur classes do it urslef, and with my attitude i was like shut the hell up b*tch and she walked away.  Then she has been ignoring me since and friday we ignored each other.  

i cant even confront her cuz she'll go run to her sister and bitch to her and thats not cool.  

its soo pathetic- brittany, sara, and kim all have this notebook they write notes in back and forth and i know they talk about me cuz brit always hides it from me, but i find it lame how sisters actually have to write notes back and forth and brit hasta turn to her sister for a friend and everthing.  (no offense to sisters but thats something new for brit, she used to dislike her sister)

on monday when my friend ashley and then brit have there study hall im gonna ask ashley to talk to brit about it, like whys shes not talking to me and everything.

my assumptions are kim told brittany not to talk to me.  if its one thing i hate about people is how they need others to stick up for them, brit has never stuck up for herself, she acts like a 5 yr old-no lie

any advice?

[tam]

I made out with my best friends boyfriend hours after she broke up with him!!!  I felt soooooo bad afterwards.  She got very mad.  He told her he was using me to get back at her for breaking up with him, for someone else.  He is an ass!
-I'm the bad friend you all complain about, I guess.  But I did like him.  I did not try and break them up though!  I'm not that bad!

[GabiGirl23]

AFChicka ~ First of all, don't compare yourself to your friends, or say that you have reason to be jealous of them. You are a great girl, and I'm sure your friends don't act superior to you or anything, so you have no reason to think that. *hugs* Second, I wouldn't worry too much about being left out. Your friends sound like a great group of people, and I doubt they try to leave you out at all. Still, if you'd like to get closer, try planning some activities to go hang out as a group, and also be sure to schedule some one on one time with all of your friends, for that friend bonding thing. Good luck!!!

AloneInACrowd ~ I wish I had some advice for you, but my current problem is kind of like yours...I'm really sorry. But you can PM me if you ever need to talk!

sweet_dreams ~ I'm sorry you feel like you have no real friends..I know the feeling, trust me. But there's always people who will be there for you, you just have to find them! Try getting closer to one of your good friends, you'll find a lot of them maybe feel the same way.

Miss_Understand (I'm too lazy to do the toggle, lol) ~ I've had that problem before too, and it bugs me, because I am NOT a competetive person *at all*. Before you altogether dump the friendship, I would reccomend talking to her...maybe if someone else tells her she'll see the error of her ways and stop, or at least cut down on the rudeness. If not, I would try distancing yourself from her, but if she asks, tell her that you're not trying to hurt her, but you don't think that you have enough in common.

burtonangel ~ Wow that's a tough situation, and I don't have a whole lot of advice. The best I can say is talk to her, and tell her that you like being her friend, but you'd rather just the two of you work out your problems as opposed to her and her sister.

tam ~ You're right, you are not a bad person. You may have made a mistake, but you're not bad. This guy on the other hand, is. I hope you don't still like him..because if he makes out with girls to get back at exes...he's not you're type, and you deserve better. Now, about your friend..I know I've said this to everyone, but talk to her. Tell her how sorry you are, and how you want to make it up to her. Give her some time, but I'm sure this will work out.

OK...well..here's my problem, it might take a while to explain, so I'm sorry if it does

I have depression and I've been cutting myself for about 8 months. Most of my really close friends knew about it. One friend found out, freaked out, told the rest, etc. Anywhoo, back to the story. I went home from school really depressed last week. I was upset because I had slipped up and cut myself, and one of my guy friends was threatening to call the local psychiatric hospital. I was really upset, and completely terrified. I wanted to commit suicide that night, but I didn't say anything to anyone. My best friend caught on to my mood, though, and she knew I was at a really low point, especially when I started crying. I didn't come to school the next day, because I had taken too many pills the night before and I felt really crappy. I hadn't been actually trying to kill myself...I don't know what I was doing. I think I just wanted to feel like I was doing something about my life. So anyways, I didn't show up for school, and my best friend and a couple others got scared and thought I had killed myself and was lying dead on a floor somewhere, so they got my school counselor, vice principal, and a couple of teachers involved. Then a girl, we'll call her A, who I considered a good friend, came to school and said that I threatened to kill her. She said that I said, "I don't know why I take my own blood when I could so easily have yours. Watch your back", which is a load of bullshit. I am not that type of person, I can't even tell my worst enemies off, let alone make death threats. I didn't even say anything remotely close to a threat - I barely talked to her that day anyways. Anyways, she spread this around all my friends, got her parents involved, and her boyfriend's parents involved. Then she started telling all my friends about "all the shit" that I apparently talk about (which is NOT true, I don't talk shit about my friends at all, I can't stand doing that). Now most of my friends are really pissed off at me, they don't believe a word I say because of my depression, and they've completely abandoned me.
I don't know what to do. I've always turned to my friends during one of my low points, and now that I'm at my lowest point...they're not there. Somebody please help me. Tell me how to make this better, or at least bearable.
       

[RayOfBlackLight]

GabiGirl23...aww..honey...my heart goes out to you.  *huggles*  I'm sorry, I really don't know how to help you.   I guess, my advice is that this so called friend that said that stuff about you, really isn't a friend.  That's probably hard to accept, but I think that you should see if you can invest in some new friends. Or maybe just one.  Wouldn't you rather just have one friend who really makes you feel good about yourself, and that you can always go to, and that you have fun with, rather than a whole group of friends that make you feel horrible?  Please, think about that, and don't do anything like killing yourself, that won't solve the problem.  You can make it out of this.  Trust me babe..and smile..please??  For me??  Take care, stay safe.  
--Leah

(I am not good at this advice stuff..but I tried...)

[*Little Leprechaun Gurl*]

PLEASE HELP ME..I'M SCARED...I GOT INTO THIS HUGE FIGHT WITH MY FREIND MATT (MATTHEWMCKILLOP) AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER HIS GAME TODAY..I CANT CALL HIM BECAUSE HES GROUNDED AND ITS LONG DISTANCE, I WOULD CALL CHRISTINA BUT SHES LONG DISTANCE AND GROUNDED TOO, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO....I'M SCARED...PLEASE HELP ME..WHAT DO I DO?

[tam]

OMG SideKick007!

That must have been terrible!  I hope he didn't kill himself.  I think I've seen him post here since then though so I think he's OK.  I'm not really the person to give advice.  

But I have ANOTHER problem!
I have a group of 5 friends in my class.  Three of us are the closest so whenever we work in threes we go together.  But whenever we have to choose groups of four we end up fighting with the other two!  I hate having to chose between them because they are both good friends!  And when one of them doesn't get to go with us they won't talk to us for ages!  This is ruining friendships!  How can I make them understand that we don't dislike the other?!  

[Beautiful.Disaster]

yes, tam, matt is ok

[PrettyGirl_Is_Suffering]

I have decided to put a sticky note on this thread.

[PrettyGirl_Is_Suffering]

I have decided to put a sticky note on this thread.