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Post by *Little Leprechaun Gurl* on Jul 8, 2002 20:34:23 GMT -5
I just came here to say a pm from someone changed me. She made me realize how much I was loved and how much even strangers cared if I hurt my self. She told me how much God loved me and showed me that it was just a waist of time. I also realized how much I was hurting someone else in my life by hurting myself. So from now on, I'm not going to hurt myself.
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Post by Ich Liebe Rammstein on Aug 26, 2002 20:24:05 GMT -5
OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!
I haven't cut myself in like atleast 2 months!! I'm so happy!!!! ;D
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Post by horsesalltheway on Sept 29, 2002 22:02:54 GMT -5
guess who cut again.
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Post by Ich Liebe Rammstein on Oct 2, 2002 21:25:19 GMT -5
yeah. *looks down at floor* me too.
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Gabbie
Junior Member
Posts: 153
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Post by Gabbie on Oct 5, 2002 20:00:16 GMT -5
I almost cut once but I didn't because of my friends.
I had a really hard time in the last few years with my parents and friends and family stuff and none of it was going away and from what I heard from other people cutting really helped and I thought maybe it would help me to. But I didn't do it, I was all ready but I didn't.
My sister's old friend was a cutter and it was pretty bad, and then my friends cuts sometimes and she did it once in school and I couldn't stand to watch her do it, i don't know if she still does but it was really weird to watch so I couldn't do it either.
Cutting might feel good, I don't know because I stopped myself before I started, but it isn't the way out of your problems. I used to think that the only way people would stop fighting - my parents, friends, and family - was if i hurt myself in some way for them to turn around and be like what are we doing to her, and sometimes i still think that way, but i also know that my family would be hurt and and so would my friends so whenever i feel that way i write down my feelings to make me feel better.
**hugs to everyone**
feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
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Post by daydream machine on Jan 25, 2003 18:10:52 GMT -5
I'm not going to share my personal stories or anything on the board. And I don't want to upset any of you but...
Just answer me this:
How many of you mutilated yourself before you read about it or heard about it on TV?
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Post by canola4life on Feb 19, 2003 23:09:59 GMT -5
lol wow, i just found this thread and i was impressed at the stopping power of that last post. maybe it's a pretty good question for you crazy kids.
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Post by canola4life on Feb 20, 2003 23:59:34 GMT -5
i found a really good post on bmezine.com about self harm. it pretty much reflects what i believe, and a big part of that is free will:
Sometimes people choose to harm themselves not to enhance themselves, but to just hold themselves together. I'd like to quote Joshua Tenpenny, from a discussion in one of the IAM forums regarding a girl that was cutting herself:
She is likely cutting because (as many of us have figured out) pain of the body relieves pain of the spirit. Best thing of course is to help with the source of the pain of the spirit, but removing her outlet or shaming her for it isn't going to help her. I would go to her and say, "You want to hurt yourself? You want to see blood? Okay. Here are disposable scalpels and rubbing alcohol. At least do it right." I'd try to teach her *control*, and help her to value her body and value her pain, even if no one else in her life does. It's about control and power. She can't control all this other pain in her life, but she can control this pain. This pain is hers and no one can take it from her. So long as she has this power over her own body, she isn't entirely helpless. Make her aware of that power, and encourage her to respect it. "Yes, you can hurt yourself. You can even kill yourself. It is your body and your life. Is that what you want to do with it?"
From a body mod perspective, you can talk about how any mark you put on your body (permanent or not) has power, and she ought to be mindful of what sort of marks she does. I used to cut words that said what I needed to hear, as a reminder every time I'd see them. A friend of mine cuts dragons, to give him strength. Another cuts careful geometric patterns, for order and control. It can turned into an act of magic, or as a ritual, even if the reason you are cutting is the same.
A quote from my partner - "There is nothing that cannot be reclaimed. Say it again, over and over. Believe it."
Please — be careful. Falling into a pattern of self harm can be "addictive" and can spiral you into larger problems if you're not careful... Please stay focussed on using your body to enhance your life, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
of course, if this is just becoming a trend, it's damn retarded and you need to quit being a bunch of sheep. my 2c
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Post by daydream machine on Feb 26, 2003 21:43:46 GMT -5
No one has answered my question.
canola- That's interesting.To me, your last post makes no sense. I don't see how it's about control. I guess it may be different for everyone.
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Post by canola4life on Feb 27, 2003 0:53:17 GMT -5
it's like kafka... sometimes you lose so much control over your life that the only thing you can control is how little you can live on (or how much pain you can be in). i have another theory, too.... self inflicted injury can be like a cup of hot cocoa in hell if the rest of your life is or feels shitty enough: it's somehow relieving. other theories: there's a spiritual world as Ias a Christian believe in, and we're being pushed by evil spirits to continue our self destructive patterns. more? i myself find pain interesting, something that can be experimented with. pain is the body's message to the mind that something bad is happening that could render a member of the body useless. if you're in control and can constantly tell your body that it's already taken care of and it doesn't need to bother with a pain response, you can control the level of pain you feel to a very great deal. it's also just a personal test, to see how much you can take. and it can really test your resolve. i'm sorry if this got triggering or anything, just delete it if it is i guess... but there's my response, from my own mind.
btw, to answer your question... i don't even have basic television.
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Post by daydream machine on Feb 27, 2003 15:56:23 GMT -5
Thanks for typing that up canola. I still think the only reason most people started to do it nowadays is because they heard about it somewhere then decided to try it. They are not doing it because it is an instinct. Posts triggering someone? Haha, it's all so fake! Some responses on this thread make me very upset. I can't believe it. I don't think most people here understand. *Note- I did not read every single post, so maybe some might understand.
It's painful for me to talk about, but I think I will contribute an in depth post to this thread sometime.My story. I still don't think many would understand though.
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Post by canola4life on Feb 28, 2003 0:22:27 GMT -5
mr rogers died thanks lost in the song, that's pretty much how i found it too, tho i will say my purposes for inflicting harm on my own body have changed over the last few years. daydream machine, are you seriously being elitist with something most people take as seriously as self harm? that's like if this were a drug addictions post and you were saying no one was as hardcore as you because you did heroin. if you're through with it, be proud of yourself and stop judging other people because you think you were more serious about hurting yourself than they are, or because you'd like to believe you were the first on your block to touch razor to your arm. if you want people to stop making a trend out of it, quit treating it like one yourself. and definitely don't underestimate these people's abilities to understand your story. but if you type it up, don't type it up to impress us, for God's sake.... do it for yourself. exorcise those demons. and never pretend yours are the only reasons. not much pisses me off more than an elitist, and if i've misunderstood you and ranted against nothing, i'm sorry, but please understand the way the words you write could be read from another point of view. have a nice day.
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Post by daydream machine on Feb 28, 2003 15:58:26 GMT -5
Reading over what I wrote, I understand how it could come off the wrong way.
First of all I have never cut myself. That is why I always said mutilate and self harm. I am not an elitist in anyway. I was never serious about hurting myself.
Second of all, I know. Whether you harmed yourself before you heard about it or not, it is a serious problem. I hope I did not make it seem like I am not aware of that. Even though I come off harsh and am only talking about myself, I do realize that you all are suffering also. My posts only show one side of me. They are flat out and honest and some people may not like that.
I think it is very fair for me to say most of you don't understand. I know plenty of people in this world have had it much harder than me and I know many have suffered a lot. I know I have a great life compared to some and I try not to wallow in self pity. I sometimes make it seem like I have suffered more than others, I have a problem with that. I am trying not to act like that anymore. I am aware of my weaknesses and am always trying to improve myself. Anyway, when it comes to harming yourself, from what I've read, not many of you here understand.Or maybe it's me that doesn't understand, because like I said above, I don't understand why you would do it for the reasons canola said. I did not say anyone was fake.
I can act like it's not a trend, but it is.
If I upset any of you, I am truly sorry. For those of you that I did upset, I'm sure that in your minds this post does not justify what I have said on this thread. And I don't think I can justify myself without telling personal information. I really don't feel like discussing this at the moment, but I have one more question. After that one gets a few replies I will be able to back myself up more and try to say what I was saying all along. I didn't want to just come out and say it. Anyway, here's the question...
I'm sure when you have messed up before you have hit yourself on the head. People call themselves stupid when make mistakes. Why do people do this?
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Post by canola4life on Feb 28, 2003 20:13:19 GMT -5
thanks for that : ) i think i like you a lot better now in response to your question... i don't beat myself up a whole lot or for very long when i fuck up. i definitely do think about whatever i mess up at for a while afterward tho. the way i work, i end up understanding my problems from a lot of angles but not really solving them, whether i decide not to bother or whether i have a hard time putting them aside. i guess for a lot of people it's easier to get forgiveness from others than from yourself. i don't "cut" often either, in fact the actual blade version is pretty rare... i use a homemade tattoo gun or needles to play pierce. fire's also a source of entertainment
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Post by Stepharoola on Feb 28, 2003 22:56:32 GMT -5
I do not know if I have posted this before, but I used to have a fried who cuts. It was really hard on her. I have a question: Is cutting addictive?
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