Squawks

[Toxic-Avenger]

"Squawks" are problem listings that US pilots leave maintenence crews to fix before the next flight.  Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenence crews.  

I suggest using these for ideas for sarcastic responses to anyone who leaves a stupid request for you to do.

Problem:  Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution:  Almost replace left inside main tire.

P:  Something loose in cockpit.
S:  Something tightened in cockpit.

P:  Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S:  Evidence removed.

P:  DME volume unbeleivably loud.
S:  DME volume set to more beleivable level.

P:  Dead bugs on windsheild.
S:  Live bugs on order.

P:  Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S:  That's what they're there for.

P:  Aircraft handles funny:
S:  Aircraft sternly warned to straightn up, fly right, and get serious.

P:  Target Radar hums.
S:  Reprogrammed Target Radar with lyrics.

[vbkimber07]

That's pretty good.   ;D

[Shrubby]

P: Aircraft handles funny:
S: Aircraft sternly warned to straightn up, fly right, and get serious.

Bwahahahaha.

[Beautiful.Disaster]

HAHAHAHAHAHa that's awesome. That gives me more ideas for my trademark sarcastic responses....lol