The Rules Girls

[whereISmyhalo]

I have read 'The Rules' and I use them regularly in dating. The Rules work in the following basics:

:)You are an independent amazing and very desirable girl
:)You only love those guys who love you.
:)Life ain't about getting a man, its about getting a life!

I think they're fab because it means you get to live your life as an independent woman, you meet a lot of guys, and have a good understanding of their minds, and most of all, you save yourself heartache and pain.

Since following them I have dated more guys than ever before, have saved getting blown off/waiting for men to call (ugh!) and am a busier much happier person all round.

So if you have a guy situation going on and you want a rules perspective on how to solve it, post here. I promise to pull up a chair, get you a cuppa tea and treat you kind.

[Soleluna]

I am so alone. No boy wants me. I broke up with my 1st bfriend 3months ago(almost 4) after 8 months together and have found no one else for me....

What can I do? (today I am particulary sad)

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Sole...Aww   I'm sorry you haven't found someone yet, but I'm pretty sure more of the world is single than in a relationship.  But, hey if you do follow the "Rules", who knows what would happen?   I mean they're kind of inspirational..Maybe everyone should try and follow them.  

[Queen_of_Hollywood]

^^agreed..

[whereISmyhalo]

Sole Luna,

I know how it feels to want to be with someone, especially if you have been in a relationship. The first one is always the hardest to get over, and you seem like you have had time to wallow, which is needed (with ice cream, and sad songs.)

However, you split for a reason, and the reasons were good ones. I would make a list of reasosn why you two would never work out, and tape it to your mirror. It will remind you what the situation REALLY was, and stop you obsessing about him.

I advise going out, and doing what you like. I don't mind what you do, just so long as you get your butt out the house and be with people. GET BUSY! Take a class, learn something new, go partying with your girlfriends, take your little borther to the park. Just go.

You don't have to feel very attractive right now, or feel happy. Just pretend to be. Go out, show up and have the best time you can. Look after other people around you. If you feel down, have a bit of a cry, but then go do something else, don;t hole yourself up feeling bad. You won't get over it if you think about it all the time! if you get busy, you'll find you start to feel better about yourself, and people will notice you.

The best boyfriends I have had are the ones I was not expecting to find, I was just out there having a good time, and guys picked up on it. There are hundreds of reasons why being single is cool, but its okay to want someone too. But if you look for guys, you give out a message that you *need* one, and then you settle for guys who don't really care about you.

You're totally worth it and I know some guy is gonna come along and treat you right. In the meantime...have fun! I'll be praying that your heart heals, I know you'll be just fine, you've been doing fine so far!

[Soleluna]

I really want to thank you for what you wrote... I think I am over my ex now, except that sometimes I still think about him. Oh, well, he has a new girlfriend anyway...

When you said 'You're totally worth it and I know some guy is gonna come along and treat you right. In the meantime...have fun! I'll be praying that your heart heals, I know you'll be just fine, you've been doing fine so far!' you really made me happy: I needed someone to tell me that!

I dunno how to explain, except by saying

[glow=green,2,300]THANK YOU[/glow]

[ladyluv]

Hey kids  
I really like this guy. But now We don't really have an excuse to hang out together anymore, we were in the play together thats how we got to know eachother he'd always flirt with me, say encouraging things, once we spent 10-15 minutes alone on the stage together just talking, at the cast party he came right over and sat beside me for awhile and we just chatted. Lately we've been seeing more of eachother around school and even though things may  not be said everytime...we maintain intense eye contact...I think things have stepped out of the friendly-say-hi mode to the sexy-intense eye contact mode. There has been a distinct change in the way we act towards eachother but its not a bad thing. He has my number he's called me b4 (to talk to his sister) he knows where I live we both have lockers close to eachother...Oh Oh another cute thing he does (other than the deer in headlights stare) is he raises is eyebrows. hheeehee  
 
I know I could ask him out but I dont want to overstep that boudary because knowing him he's very traditional and polite and proper. (one of the reasons I like him so much) I guess all I can do is provide the opportunity for him to make a move if he wants to...  
 
how can I make it obvious to him that I'm interested? I think I already have but I'm not too sure..eeeep. I don't want to be forceful. thats not my style. I want to make it clear that I am interested but I don't want to make him feel pressured.  
 
any advice?  thank you again  
 
love,  
Lady  

[whereISmyhalo]

Lady.

You're right to play it cool. I met a guy a few months ago who was really arrogant, the kinda guy who thinks he is doing you a favour by asking you out. I turned him down and he is now chasing me.

But don't let playing hard to get make you mean or superficial. Be hard to get (don't follow him round or pester his mates) but be easy to be around (when he is around you smile, say hello, talk to him.)

Its cool that you met him during the play. You have common experience and similar interests. He has given out all the signs of liking you.I would advise that you keep smiling at him, keep being busy, make an effort to feel and look good. If he likes you, he likes you, he will call, or leave a note in your locker. I'm sure with all the sexy looks he knows how you feel.

Its hard to play hard to get, the temptation is to get close to him, but trust me, if he makes the first move, you'll know he likes you, and you won't feel really forward. He doesn't sound too shy to me. When its tough just think, its an investment...

Just focus on being busy, hanging out with other people (ever notice how having a guymate makes other guys way more attentive?) and be nice when does approach you.