anyone feel this way?

[greenstripes]

does anyone else feel this way?.. its sort of hard to explain. its like i am pretty comfortable around guys, i have many guy friends, but i have never had a long tem boyfriend. its not that im overly shy or anything,  you just need to get to know me, ok wait im rambling heres the thing, i think that i could deal with a boyfriend, that is untill someone asks me out, then i totally start to freak out and usually come off as someone completely different than i really am. also i think im just really self-concious, but my majr problem is that i dont uderstand how you can fool around with someone and then be normal around them the next day. i guess i just cant deal with that for some reason. if anyone can offer even the slightest amount of advice or a comment please do

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Okay, green, I can totally relate, because  I feel the exact same way.  It's like, I think that once you start going out with someone, once you do something with them physically, won't you feel weird around them after? Like say you're great friends with a guy, and then you end up really liking him, and you two go out--and after you do stuff together, won't it feel weird around him?  I never understood that concept.  Just like when people have sex for the first time, I'm still a virgin, but won't it be kinda weird after? And for me, it's like I can't face confrontation. If I like a guy, I'm excited because it's fun to have a crush, but if it turns out he asks me out, I get freaked, like you.  Because it's confrontational.  That's why I think I feel so much more confortable with just hook-ups because there's less oddness (I'm not a whore though because I haven't had many hook ups, only a couple).  Can anyone offer any advice..or a psycho-analysis? LoL.  

[greenstripes]

wow you put it so much better than i did :  ( lol yeah i guess thats what it is im just non-confrontational...does anyone know how i could change this? , its a rather annoying trait that i would like to work on.

[x n0ise]

I know what you guys mean.

When I first started going out with my boyfriend, I wondered the same thing - 'Wouldn't it be weird after we do something physical?'  I thought it would be, but it all turned out to be in my freakish little mind of mine.  Nothing's weird about it afterwards...nothing!    And we've been going out for a little over 4 months now.

I don't know how to specify much more...any specific questions?  

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news...

I liked a guy for four years, we made out a few days ago, and things were strange afterwards. Things still ARE strange. We had a hard time looking each other in the eye, and a really hard time making conversation. This may have been because we were best friends and the next thing we know we're playing tonsil hockey, so don't think this happens in every situation. However, you ARE going to reach a new point in the relationship, so it's normal to feel a little strange, and have a few more moments of awkward silence than usual.

This, by all means, does NOT mean you shouldn't get physical with guys if you feel comfortable with it, nor does it mean that you will regret anything afterwards. The first few times are awkward, but soon it's nothing, and just a normal, healthy, loving part of the relationship.

In my situation, I'm waiting to see if things stay that way (it's too soon to fully tell). It is getting easier to talk to him; I'm pretty sure things will be better than before. However, if this "wierdness" lasts too long (say, over a week or something) then it's time to talk...

I have a theory on why this happens. Honestly, half the fun (possibly even more than half the fun) of a crush/relationship is the chasing. The butterflies in your tummy that you get, the anxiousness, the way you imagine what it would be like to be together with that person... When it finally does happen we pretty much say, "Now what?" You spend weeks and months dreaming of that one moment and when it happens you don't know where to go from there, and that's what makes it so strange afterwards.

[Cassiopeia]

^^^ Yeah, but the worst thing is when you fool around with a friend, and you start having feelings for them afterwards. You're too afraid to tell them, so you continue the non-committed "relationship" you have with them, without bringing it up. Then you talk to them about becoming more than just friends, and they say they need to think about it. So you hope and believe that you might finally have a relationship with a guy you care about. And then after a month of making you wait, they finally decide that they just want to be friends, when you still really like them. *sighs* No, this is not hypothetical. Sadly, it happened to me, and just recently too. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever have another boyfriend.