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Post by Belle Diamante on Feb 20, 2002 16:26:19 GMT -5
Awww...I totally understand you (and I seriously mean it) I do understand you because I'm exactly like that in school. The thing is, if those guys think you're a dork, than they're totally worthless for anybody. The thing is, you gotta be yourself and I know that almost everyone's gonna say that but they say that because it's true. You gotta let the real you shine through. If you can't make good friends, realize that you need quality friends, even if you have very few but at least they'll stick with you. Quantity is definitely not important. And don't worry because I hardly speak in class. If you really want friends, I suggest you join clubs. Even more bored? Try to make friends online or something. Take lessons, you'll have friends. But keep in mind, you should make friends in areas you feel comfortable in. You don't want friends that you're not comfortable around. And forget those popular ppl, get your own fun. I always do. If you don't have friends, make aquaintinces with ppl around you. I do even if they're not necessarily your friends. Oh btw, about the makeover, you should look in magazines and find a look that you really like but is totally comfortable in. You gotta be a hundred percent sure that this is you and not anybody else, don't let friends influence you. Take that look and go shopping with your closest friends and pick accessories/clothing/shoes, etc. that resembles that look. And you have to have confidence in anything you're wearing. Have confidence and hope, you have everything. Bye! ;D
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Post by zonacruz6 on Feb 23, 2002 1:19:05 GMT -5
Hey,
I know EXACTLY what you are going through, I mean exactly. I had just moved to Colorado. Thankfully it was in summer, so I did get a chance to meet one girl who was a grade younger than me, still in elem. school, but that was a friend I made early. Anyways, when school rolled around, I freaked! I went to school the first day and was silent the entire day. I was extremely shy. Whenever I would get ready to say something to somebody, my brain would backfire -so to speak- and tell me that what I wanted to say was stupid, or someone would laugh, or it wouldn't be "cool".
I did make some friends during 7th. TRUE friends. During 7th grade, I shopped where the "popular" people shopped, got the haircut "everyone" had, and used the words that were "in". I was DESPERATE to be popular. I wanted to be accepted by the popular cliques so badly. I became miserable. I hated myself and who I was. I wanted to speak up in class. I wanted to be loud. I wanted to be "COOL".
Well, 7th grade came and went, and ya know, my little make-over did nada for me. So, if I were you, I'd scratch that idea.
So then 8th grade came. I had made a few friends now, I had about 3 or 4 when school started. Then, I met Tiffanie, "the new girl", she was from California. We started talking in the 2 classes we shared. She told me how she had always been popular and on top and I explained to her that I was verrrry shy. I envied her and asked her what made her so popular. She told me she was loud, perky, nice, and didn't care what people thought of/said about her. So, I became determined to be like that. This may sound crazy and extremely farfetched, but basically, I wanted to change my view of things. Tiff worked with me, and little by little, I became more sociable and more able to cope with people around me. Now, don't get me wrong, it didn't happen over night, but I began talking to people I didn't know, flirting with guys, and eventually making alot more friends. We didn't become "popular", but we didn't want to be anymore. I just wanted to be more outgoing. And it worked!
So then 8th grade ended, and summer passed. Then freshman year arrived. I was still the same old louder-Cassie now, and loving it. I wasn't obnoxiously loud, but I smiled a lot more and I was very friendly with everyone. So, here we are today, I'm a freshman in high school, 15 years old, and living a very good life. I have lots of friends, boys and girls alike, and I am very sociable. I'm not "popular", but I think that whole idea disppears once you enter high school anyway, -unless you were popular in jr. high, then it's still a big deal to you- , but whatever.
Ok, so the boring story is over. Haha, well the message I want to get across is that you don't need to change your outside to become more outgoing, if that's what you want. PLEASE don't focus on becoming popular, it is not fun! Just be you, and if you need to change a bit -like I did- , to become more sociable, I would say go for it, as long as you stay YOU. Take it one step at a time, and progress slowly. You can do it! I know you can. PM me anytime! Good luck!!
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Post by rozie on May 19, 2002 17:28:32 GMT -5
ive always been an "outsider" and ive never had a group of friends ive clung to. im more idependant. many people have called me weird and different. ive been 'best friends' with 3 girls for a few months each..then i drifted apart with each of them. now im almost finished my first year in high school..and still dont have a group. but i have many aquaintances. i say hi to everyone in the halls, i go up to random people during lunch and start to talk, im pretty well-known by all 'cliques' and age groups. i stay away from the mean popular people..theyre too shallow to get to know anyways, and i dont care about that kind of popularity. im still independant and sort of a loner..i dont belong anywhere. but, i find this better than trying your hardest to fit into one single group..i was trying to do that in the begining of the year but all it resulted in is being depressed. im a people-person.
i like it this way, because then no one can judge you by the people you hang out with. hehe, i confuse everybody because they dont know where i belong...im everywhere...so they cant possibly judge me by my friends...because im friends with everyone!
(thats the way i think...)
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GlitterPunk
Junior Member
Ah! I'm melting! meeeeel ting!
Posts: 105
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Post by GlitterPunk on May 21, 2002 18:16:52 GMT -5
I've been through that.Actually everyone has one time or another.It's part of growing up, ya know.Finding where you belong,sense of purpose.You may think that those people that you see laughing, talking having fun were always like that.But really they too had to stuggle, to find where they belonged.This may sound Oprah-ish but it's the facts.The whole 'Just be yourself' thing, is the only thing you can do that actually works in the long run.You may be thinking 'how can i be myself, if i don't even know what that is', sooner than later you'll figure it out.Like if you feel happy, smile if youre not than don't, that's what being yourself is all about.Don't hide everything inside and let people know how you feel.Whn your'e in class and you feel like saying something, just say it!Seriously even if you're unsure of yourself.Practice this everyday, and you will get better at it.When someone says "hi" say it back.It's better that you say something then nothing at all.Or you'll regret it.You should just be cool.Relax.Take a deep breath and chill.Don't be to anxious to say something, it's not what you say but how you say it.You seem like a very down to earth person.Hey, you had enough guts to tell us that you needed help,u seem confident enough you just need a little push,don't let other ppl pull you down.
As for the way you look,once again Just be your self! Dress however you feel comfortable.Wear makeup that make you feel good.Have fun doing it too.You're goal here is showothers the REAL you.Not how the want you to be.
In the words of J.E.W. :
"Do everything you can And don't you worry What the bitter hearts Are gonna say"
;D latah!
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