*AFChicka's* Please help, I'll return the favor :)

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Alright, yeaah, I *definately* need help with mucho problems...

Where shall I start the rant/rave...

Hmm, okay Problem 1. Guys...('Nuff said, really), but anyways I like my "ex" (oh, its confusing about the whole title thing) a lot, and I blew it with him, so much..I was bitchy, mean, because I was afraid of getting too close, and now he's changed, and I cna't get him back. And we were supposed to make things change, and make things work out, but its been weeks since we've talked about that. And I miss him, and everyone knows he's a jerk, but I miss him so much, and I have no clue how to get over this. I never ealized how right he was for me, how good he used to treat me. I liked being in his arms, and I just never realized it. I took it for granted, and I tried to make him jealous because I thought it would keep him.. It didn't, it pushed him away, and everybody warned me. I guess you never realize what you have until it's gone. I've never felt this sad about a guy. It's like I can't move on. I think about him all the time, and I'm always reminiscing about how things used to be a few weeks ago!! What's your advice?? Help!!

2nd. Guy Prob...One of my best friends likes this guy, we're both friends with him, but he keeps hitting on me, and I've tried to be like, yanno, you should go for her, shes's nice..and he's just like nah. But he like hits me on lately, and I don't know what to do! I don't like him back, and even if I did, I would *never* do that to my friend.

3rd. Prob. I cannot balance my school and social life. I'm in a few AP classes, and I think I've been neglecting school lately. I mean I do all my work, but I know I can do so much better, and this is the toughest year yet (11th grade). I feel like I should be doing better, especially in math, which as of right now, I'm doing HORRIBLE in. And my friends are no help, they're less focused as well.. And after an entire summer of partying, hanging out, and of course *the "ex"*, I'm so much less focused, and all I can think about is "What if I returned to this day one month ago?" and I'm constantly thinking of the past, and how I wish I could go back there. Afterall, this was like, one of the best summers of my life. I feel like all the fun is fading, and like I'm gunna forget it all, so I try to relive it and it doesn't work. God, I'm confused!

4th prob. My parents are such nags. They never trust me anymore because they know all about my life now, and things I don't want them to know, but they know that stuff now! And they don't trust me at all.. I need them to trust me. They still see me as this little girl who isn't growing up. They don't think I was mature enough for a relationship in the summer, so they didn't even treat it as one, which pissed me off to no end!!

5th problem. I feel like no one can relate to me anymore. My problems seem like such burdens on everyone else. And I think I think about myself too much, and I know that's selfish. I try to help my friends with their problems, but I just can't seem to help anymore with these problems of my own. I'm just one big mess....

Well ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks ya, and if you need help, I'll really **try** my best to help you!!!!!

[thevoicewithin]

for your 1st prob::
have you tried talking to him about the way you are feeling? my advice: explain EVERYTHING to him. tell him why you acted that way, how horrible you feel now that you've lost him. if he doesnt even try to understand, then this guy really isnt worth your time. find another out there who will understand your personality, and motives for things you do. a guy who will cherish you and make you feel so special you cant believe its true. if you cant find one, remember some amazing guys come in unusual packages!! look past there rep or image. its worth it! <--- sorry about the lil tangent. hope i helped a lil!

[Gabbie]

I'll try to help as best as I can:

1st problem...I know exactly how you feel...the guy I like can be a real jerk sometimes and thats why my best friend broke up with him, but I really like him and I'm always thinking about how good we would be together. Whenever he is really nice to me i'm always a complete bitch back and then he isn't anymore. I don't understand why I do that but I do. Tell him exactly how your feeling and why you did the things you did before. Tell him that you would do anything to have what you have before back. Thats all I really know.

2nd problem...The guy knows you don't like him right? Well, thats all you can really do. Tell him that your friend likes him and that you would never do that to her even if you were interested, which your not. His your friend, right? So you shouldn't be to mean to him, but be honest and tell him that its not going to happen.

3rd problem...I understand what you mean about trying to balance school and friends. Last year I was way too into my group of friends and my ex-boyfriend and I totally let school slide. This year, I have much more friends then last year, but I'm doing better in school because my friends this year are interested in doing good in school and thats where their focus is so thats where mine is to. My sister is in 11th grade and I know how much work she has and its really hard for her. All i can say in through your all into school. Don't forgot about your friends and being good friends for them, but its an important school year for you and you need to focus on that.

4th problem...I know what you mean about your parents. My parents didn't think that I would be ready for a relationship last year, and I had to prove to them that I was. Why wouldn't your parents trust you? I understand what you said about them finding stuff out about you that you didn't want them to know...whatever you did that they found out try to explain to them what happened. I don't know if thats possible, but if it isn't if your ever in a position where that can happen again, make sure you don't do it over so you can prove to them that you can make the right choice next time.

5th problem...I related a lot of what you said, so if you ever need to talk you can PM me. I don't think having other people help you out is a burden and if it is then I don't think you are the one that is selfish, I think its the other people who think helping you is a burden. Helping a friend, family member, whatever, is not a burden, its what friends do, so by telling them about your problems you aren't be selfish, they are being selfish by not helping, paying attention, or thinking that your problems are a burden.

I hope I made sense and helped, and if you need to talk PM me.

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Ack, another confusing day! Hah.
LOL, but thank you guys so much for the advice..See, that's the main problem, I've tried telling my ex how I feel, and he just basically blows it off like we never existed together...It hurts so much, and to have to see him all the time, ugh.
HyperChik- Hey, can you by any chance PM me? Because for some reason I tried sending something to you and it didn't work...

Well, more updates on this crazy life...
It's so confusing, because before my ex ever happened, I kinda liked this other guy and now things are started to get heated up with him, like we talk and flirt, and stuff, and granted, I like him, but I'm constantly comparing him to my ex. It's terrible. I mean I keep figuring that in order to get over the ex, I should just go for someone else, but I'll still feel so crappy without my ex, you know?
I'm so lost....

[Michaelangelo]

Schoooooool
Dude, this is gonna sound really annoying, but I have say that SCHOOL COMES FIRST! Honestly. I live in Manhattan, I go to a gifted school, and trust me, it sucks sometimes. I feel ya. But I don't wanna end up at BMCC (Borough of Manhattan Community College), because I know I can do better. So right now, I'm trying to make my education my priority. But that doesn't mean I have no social life! Try to go out with friends on non-school nights. And don't overload yourself, or your grades will suffer. Best of luck, doll!
Love,
~Mike

[x.just.a.little.grL.x]

Wow...Problem # 1 hurts so much.... I don't think anyone can understand how much this hurts, how much I miss *him* (the ex). I saw him last night, and all the memories of the past few months flooded back into my head, and I felt so weak. And he hasn't mentioned getting back together, we haven't talked about that for exactly a month. Nothing ever happened after that, and it upsets me. I feel so empty without him, and I've tried talking to my friends, they get me, but they don't know what to tell me. Has anyone ever felt this way about an ex? I don't know if I'll ever get over him. It just tears me apart inside every time I see him, and even when I don't see him, because I'm constantly thinking about him. Am I going crazy? I mean I'm so scared because I've never felt this way about a guy before. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Today seems like the worst day ever ...I wish he would try and get back together with me, but he hasn't. I'm sorry I'm such a mess, I feel like nobody understands me right now, and I would REALLY APPRECIATE IT if someone could give me some words of comfort that things will get better, or maybe share a similiar situation......

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

As for the guy problem, I've sort of been there. I'm kind of at a point in my life like that now (although the boy has a new girlfriend who looks just like me). It took me a while to accept there's only one thing I can really do-- wait around to see what happens and while doing so, take an interest in other people. Just remember, there ARE other guys out there who can make you just as happy, whether you think that or not. I've spent many sleepless nights thinking I'd never find someone like him again, but I have faith that there are other people out there.

And as for school, I wholeheartedly agree with Mike. It has to come first, you have to make it come first. There's no other option. Give yourself a reward system. Like, if you finish all your homework, then you can go out that night, or something.