Poetry on life

[horsesalltheway]

The tempation of the blade,
glistening in the white shaving gel,
sparkling under the serenity of water,
showing such power as it removes my hair.
The power it takes,
to slice gently through my skin.
A river of my blood,
draining from my skin,
draining out my pain.
Draining away my hunger,
draining away my life.
Isn't that what I want?
I should be the only one to know,
but I don't.
Maybe another cut will show.
Or another.
The last.

____________________________________________

The kiwi sits meliciously on the table.
"Eat me, I'm calorie free."
It stares me in the eye,
with it's light coat of fuzz.
Daring me,
coaxing me,
telling me,
to take a bite.
But I know,
one bite will lead to another.
One kiwi will lead to more.
More will lead to a meal,
a meal will lead to calories,
a meal will lead to weight.
And all is the kiwi's fault,
making my life one bite worse.
Or, is the kiwi trying to help?

_____________________________________________

The first layer of skin slicing away all I've ever loved,
pushing deeper,
to what I've never loved.
Now there's nothing left,
nothing to live for.
Shreading,
slicing,
cutting,
away my life,
away THEIR life.
One layer deeper,
is all I need.

[Ich Liebe Rammstein]

Those are good. I know you are having a hard time. I know what you mean by everything you said. love you,
heather.

[horsesalltheway]

I thought you said things would get better?
They're only getting worse.
How could you lie to me like that?
It only makes me hurt.

Everytime you hurt yourself,
a part of me is gone,
if you go the extra step,
nothing will be left.

After you are gone...
and I find out...
so will the gun....
So will the pills....
The blade already has.

[horsesalltheway]

screaming in silence
stewing in sorrow
the pain of today
brinngs dreams for tomorrow

the silence is jarring
the sorrow is deep
the happiness i want
is only found in my sleep

few will listen
does anyone care
can anyone promise
they'll always be there?

[horsesalltheway]

They see my face

and my messy hair.

They don't see my heart

though everything is there.

It's not in my makeup

it's not in my clothes.

it's not in my hair

but my heart, unexposed.

-------------------------

The day is there but I don't care

I will love while no one's there

I will live even though lives not fair

without any fear without any cares.

i sit thinking glumly just over there

the pain all too near while lives still not fair.

i could reach out and touch you but you don't care.

just to bring justice to you over there

not to myself because life isn't fair.

but to my life for which i oddly do care

to those i know, sitting over there

so i don't hurt anyone else,

because life isn't fair.

----

I don't do it to hurt myself

I don't do it to hurt you

I do it so it's only I that hurts

but I can take it, if thats the cost

if that's what i have to do to keep you from pain

To not hurt those that hurt me

though i dislike them

I dispise them

but pain isn't meant for them

it's for me

but i can take it

it makes no sense you say

well put yourself in my shoes

then put the blade in your hands

then tell me it makes no sense

if you knew

how much i hurt

maybe you would stop

but you won't

you won't know

i won't tell you.

It's my secret.

Few people know,

Nicole's secret.

[Ich Liebe Rammstein]

Those are great.

If you have any problems, you know you can still PM me, Nic.

[horsesalltheway]

Thanks hun.^^

Dripping from my leg
as tears drip from eyes
but for those there's no disguise
bandaids can't cover my face
blood is easily hidden
beneath clothes
underneath a smile
beneath my skin
where it should stay
if there is any possible way
to hold it in
let it hide
but pain will always stay by my side
i try to forgive
i try to hide
but I still feel it deep inside
the need for pain
the need for blood
wanting to slice
needing to bleed
going to cut.

[horsesalltheway]

I want a death

that's impossible i fear

I want a death where I can still hear.

I want to die and still follow my life

Follow the others

watch them cry.

I want to see them mourn in pain

I want them to know there's nothing to gain

I know I'm going to hell so why wait

the devil is waiting patiently at the gate.

But if I leave,

if I go

what will happen in the lifes

of those I know.

I live for them

I'd die for me

but there would be too much I couldn't see.

[*Little Leprechaun Gurl*]

you're poems are really awesome...love ya -nik