From the Mind of Lisa

[busybodies]

I loved the last one. I can completely relate with it. It's like I've written it about somebody I know. Excellent stuff, Lisa! Keep them coming

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

There was something different about you, something only I saw out of the corner of my eye. Some people march to the beat of a different drummer, but you walk to the steady tapping of a foot. Out of sight, out of mind. I saw the flower blooming, opening. It was a private sort of debutante. I like to think it was the unexpected chill that sent you back inside, but I think I might have coaxed it out too quickly. You might not turn heads but you've never failed to turn mine.


(An ode to a shy boy I have my eye on...

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

If she could take a pen and write her own life, she would.
And it wouldn't have half as many cliffhanger endings.
Perhaps she should be done fighting this last battle
But it all comes down to a question she asked
With a tilt of his head
And an awkward tug at his pockets
One word wrote a story
Sure.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

All Your Broken Luck
This is our biggest fear

A summer ago I traded in my
eyelash curler for a vinyl record,
a pen and paper. Glamour never
got me anywhere.

So I'll watch my hair grow in
You're better than you've ever
been, and I think I'm going to be sick.

Your picture sits beside me
(It's happier than you ever
were and the conversation's
so much better.)
Strategically placed under a
pile of papers,
Where this year my feelings can
stay behind.

I can't describe love but
I can describe the way your collar
always stuck up in the front and the
subtle rhythm with which you drummed
your fingers over mine.

I can't define "the end" but
I do know we never looked
each other in the eye and I almost
forget how it feels with your
lips on my forehead.

I’m deathly afraid I won’t mind
living without you.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Collected
Not as cool as you think

It was a year ago.
It was 10 years ago.
Was it yesterday?
I don't remember, and I'm trying not to.

You never loved
me, and I still loved
you. Was I only your drug?
I'm sorry about the bad trip
but I was always the one
with the addiction
(to you).

Kissed once on the forehead,
three times on the mouth
I always loved your
blonde hair but you ditched the
surfer boy figure
before I became the superficial one.
You were never the one
on top but you were always
in control.

It’s a beautiful day and all you can say is
"Come here."
You ended the day with
pinwheel-spinning bike tires
(You came just to see me)
But in my mind it’s an
automobile,
you’re behind the wheel
and we’re 10 years away
We’re driving off from them
(and Her)

But you won’t get that license for years yet.

It’s a decrepit life and you can’t even say
“Hello.”<br>I’m running in circles
Behind closed doors.
A metaphorical detox with futile results
You’ll always be like heroin.

I’m shaking.

And you’re not here to calm me down this time.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Let it Pour
When you stand in the rain, no one knows you're crying.

You perished in a fierce oblivion of rock and roll ambience.
I was never music to your ears.
Because I realized today just how much I miss you.
And how much I miss you missing me

My eyes are bright, too bright for your eyes
As you glance at me and look away.

Are you still feeling for me now?
Or are you numb to me and tepid summer nights
With your hand in the small of my back,
My head in the crook of your neck,
Mouths entwined, eyes shut.
Can you look at me now?
I can see the defeat in our eyes.

And maybe one day you'll be the one
Who wakes up in a cold sweat
With one thought piercing cold through the sheets.
"We were just too perfect for this world."

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Can you feel it? This could be the death of something great…

I’m about to stop working so diligently.
There’s only a handful of ways you can paint five memories so beautifully.
Your eyes always glittered like you wanted something more,
And I’m sorry I couldn’t deliver everything you wished for.
But my self worth is tarnished,
Mortal limbs can’t reach the sky.
It’s only you who gave me flight.

These pictures are covered in dust,
As memories are filed in old photo albums,
A mausoleum of youth.
There’s a caller at the door but it’s not you,
And I’ve stopped expecting it to be.
I have you right where I want you.
A radiant smile behind plastic.
Two-dimensionally speaking.

It’s been too long since I’ve fallen asleep to the scent of you, the sound of you.
But I’ve grown all too used to this half empty table for two.
Rock me to sleep.
I’m tired, I’m weak.
I’m so much stronger than you knew me to be.
But I’d fall in love with your words all over again,
If you ever knew just what you meant…<br>
I saw right past your wrinkled t-shirts, punk rock glamour.
It took more than that to win me over but I’d rather leave than watch your execution.
Still somehow I think we were happier then,
When all we needed were pillows and a TV set,
A room devoid of fake friends.
Our masks are removed with our clothing, our skins,
And this is the point where innocence ends.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

I’m running
I’m running
You’re choking
In my dust
Why am I still
Two steps behind you?

I forget so fast
Your hands
Your face
And the opening night
Of our farce
Where we forgot
Our lines and were
Forced to pantomime
The scenes of brief
Teenage love

It’s nights like
These, I sit alone
Writing half-finished sonnets
But these scenes I paint
Are juvenile, these words don’t
Catch your eye

Just like me.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Love is nothing but signing a lease.

The ownage of another beating heart; he thinks it's a beautiful thing. But the freckles on his face don't suit him in his growing age, and the monotony of adolescent lust takes its toll. Day in, day out: they smash their tongues together and touch each other while her mother is away. But the boredom grew and he took back his sweater, pocketed his mix tape, turned the picture over on the dresser and headed for the door.

"Ah," she said, "But you are my property. You agreed to this contract the first day you took me into your arms and held me."

He looked at her with no tears in his eyes. "You were once the kerosene that fueled my soul, but the flame has long since flickered away. Besides, what is a growing boy to do when attraction becomes burden? You once had a glow in your eyes, but it went away with the cash in my pocket, spent on your damn Italian coffees and subtitled French films."

"Remember the day you said I could do no wrong? You told me you'd always be the song in my heart. Some promises you can’t take back, even if you sing off-key."

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Dammit. I thought I told you
not to look at me like that. It’s been this way since
the day you burned me in a garbage can
with my letters and your soiled clothes. Cut my
face out of all your pictures. You never quite
fit in here.

I’ll peek through the curtains to
see just where you’re standing. Her grass
was always greener, and I hope you’re
happy, stuck halfway between
euphoria and my front door.

Is that a smile I observe? Or was every
idyllic moment just a grimace in disguise?

[Beautiful.Disaster]

One word: WOW You have some real talent. I just read the last page, and all I have to say is WOW. It's great, I'm at a loss of words. Seriously.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy all there is to come!

_______________________


You were
nothing
but a finely crafted
dream.

I was a
simple girl.
Stop and
go.
Add you
to the equation.

You were
stopped
in your tracks.
Suitcases in
hand,
full of
neatly folded
insecurities.

Stay
here a while.
Crash on the
sofa.

You were
dazed
by me.
The girl with
the wit,
who hardly
spoke
a word.

Just
smiled and
batted her
eyelashes
on your cheek.

The
only one
who came close to
outsmarting
you.

Your mind
was just too
sharp
for me.

Leave
me alone.

Can’t you
see?
You’ve
worn out
your welcome.

It wasn’t my
idea.
You
kissed me, put
your shoes
on, and
shut the door
behind you.

You forgot your
baggage.
Now I’m
lying
here with
your lack of
self-worth.

You were
nothing
but a poorly-sewn
nightmare.

My nightmare.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

Your lack of words right now is everything to me.
I’m suffocating in this stack of what-ifs, could have beens, should have beens.
I swore I wanted just one touch, but you pulled me in, drew me in, sweet skin.
Never had I felt so at home before.
But I wanted more; you needed your space.
Damn the choking open air that determined our distance.
And damn your decisions, your conformity.
Damn everything you were that I wanted to be.
This blank fate is killing me.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

I am alone on this cold bedsheet.
I am you.
In this dark there is nothing to comfort me,
but the words of one year ago
that are no longer valid.

I could have sworn
I had expired as well.

There is more to this life than you.
And I know that.
But I do not live that.

You.
You are my hands.
You are my feet.
I felt your heart beating through your chest
and for a moment I thought you were human.

And maybe, just maybe…<br>You are.

But, I.
I am not ready yet.
The makeup can’t always be perfect.
Neither can we.

I remember when I told myself,
”I’m done with this.”<br>I was beginning to enjoy this lack of conversation,
the stolen glances.
The game we played to look away quickly.

Do I have to say it louder?
I’m done with you.

Knock, knock, knock.

And there you are.
Right on time, as always.

[LisaRocksYourWorld, yo]

A friend once told me,
"You have to forget the ones who forgot."
But she wouldn't take yes for an answer when I said
He wanted me like a million other boys never could.
With his shoes untied and hair falling to the side, I fell in
love (with the idea of me, and a living, breathing he).
With a smile and a lump in my throat (again caused by him)
I buried his spirit face down so I couldn't
look him in the eyes (those eyes) when I closed his coffin,
But he wouldn't take no for an answer when I said
He once wanted me like a million other boys surely would
I wanted to tell him to tie his shoes and comb his hair,
But at this time I wanted nothing more than to back away
(from the idea of me and a shallow, devious he.)