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Post by SparkleStar on Feb 15, 2002 2:26:30 GMT -5
Hey everyone! Have you got abused, raped, or anything harmful done to you? Here's the place to be if you want to recover or if you're trying to recover or if you just want to talk about this topic. Talk all you want and share your feelings: we're here for you no matter what. Luv ya, I'm alwayz here 4 u! ~SparkleStar
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Post by theLadyMadonna on Feb 17, 2002 19:49:23 GMT -5
My friend was raped in April. It was so harsh to deal with, especially seeing as we (her close friend and family) were the only ones who knew. What's rough about the whole thing (as if it wasn't bad enough to begin with) were the rumors. There were so many going around and even if they weren't true, the fact that people could be so cruel as to spread that stuff just made the pain worse.
Since then, she's had a hard time going out on dates (obviously) because she's freaked but recently this guy asked her out. She was so excited ...but she got stood up. Last night I asked her if she'd heard from him about why he stood her up. She said that she had talked to him and that he told her he had heard she'd been raped and he thought it was disgusting to go out with someone who had let that happen to herself.
*I* was disgusted when I heard that! He was treating the whole thing like it was HER fault! Since I heard about her rape, I don't remember feeling so much pain about it and what she must go through everytime she hears something like that.
No one deserves it.
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Post by 80s Child on Feb 17, 2002 22:13:50 GMT -5
*BIG HUGE HUGS TO ALL VICTIMS OF RAPE/ABUSE etc.* If you've been violated and it's still affecting your life in a negative way, I urge you to see a therapist. They can help a lot. TheLadyMadonna: That man who did that to your friend is not worthy of ANY woman. A man with that mentality should not be with a woman. What if he was in love with a woman and she got raped? I wonder what he'd do then.
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Post by x n0ise on Feb 17, 2002 22:31:12 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, theLadyMadonna. No one deserves that kind of treatment. I don't know why anyone would want to hurt someone in that way.
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Post by theLadyMadonna on Feb 18, 2002 19:49:41 GMT -5
^^^
Thanks so much you guys!
Actually, you'd be very pleased to know that a guy she really likes asked her out last night. She's so happy and I can't even begin to express how much she deserves to be happy and to be with someone who won't treat her like garbage. I mean, it doesn't away from what happened and I'm not even sure he knows, but at least he'll treat her with the respect that she deserves. She's such a wonderful person. She deserves it. After all the stuff she's been through in her life...being raped is just a part of it *sigh*
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Post by x n0ise on Feb 19, 2002 21:10:29 GMT -5
I'm so glad she found someone she's happy with! ;D That's great! And from here on out, I hope her life gets even better! From what you have said...she deserves it!
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Post by theLadyMadonna on Feb 27, 2002 18:24:44 GMT -5
Ohhhhh, there has been a new twist in the story.... Like I said, my friend has been going out with a guy who she really likes. I think he knows about everything and he's being really cool about it all (well, by that I mean understanding and as respectful about it as he can...). Anyways, there's this one girl (we'll call her Simona) who has always been really nasty. I mean, towards me, towards everyone except her little clique, she is an absolute b*tch (at the risk of the stupid thing putting "pregnant dog" again!"). Anyways, I guess she had heard the rumors, and she's the type of person to play up on them. So today after school she goes up to my friend and she's like, "are you going out with Dave?" she's like "yeah" and Simona says, "Well are you ready?" (and she wasn't saying it in a tone like she was being sincere, it was like she was trying to make my friend feel ashamed about herself). Anyways, my friend replies, "what do you mean?" and Simona says, "well you know, are you sure you can handle it?" Ugh, that made me so mad! I mean, it doesn't sound so bad reading it, but just the way she said it. It was horrible. People can be so awful.
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Post by girlpoet21 on Feb 28, 2002 0:00:14 GMT -5
I read that 2 out of every 3 women will be raped in their lifetime. How scary is that? Lady- Simona is just as bad as that first guy. People like that make me sick. Props to your friend fo rot slapping her (and you). I'm sorry she had to go through that, it sounds as if she's coping pretty well, esp with your help. As far as that guy is concerned, he's the type of guy who would rape a girl and somehow see it as her fault, which disgusts me.
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Post by sunny.side.up on Feb 28, 2002 15:04:47 GMT -5
2 out of every 3 women will be raped? Geez! That's so disgusting! theLadyMadonna - that's awful about your friend! I can't even understand how anyone could think that it was *her* fault... that guy must be mentally ill or something. That's just abnormal. And that girl... geez, can't people just be a little more respectful towards each other? Well, at least your friend can be happy to have a friend like you. ~*Esther*~
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Post by x n0ise on Feb 28, 2002 21:55:57 GMT -5
I think that is just plain sick. People can be so idiotic sometimes. I hope things get better for your friend...I really do. Anybody who is treated like that deserves much better.
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dizzyupthegirl
Full Member
definition of hot: look at that ^^^
Posts: 370
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Post by dizzyupthegirl on Mar 1, 2002 7:28:48 GMT -5
okay.. i mite sounds mean in a second.. but hear my story first:
okay.. my friend was not exactly raped.. but sorta... i mean it was a half-way done. well since then.. she only told me and a few ppl from school. All of those ppl ofcourse sympetize(sp?) her. But lately.. she has been telling the story to every single guy.. and ofcurse those guys wud be all like "aww.." and stuff. And she told the story like it was a normal story. I mean.. i just cant understand it.. i mean.. it is pretty personal and i thought u know.. its sorta not the type of story u want to tell every1. And she is only telling the guys...! Ugh.. it just sicken me when she does that. And afterwards she always smile and be a super drama queen. I swear.. its just sick! So if u guys think im being mean or nething.. u shud have seen how she act when she is telling her story. And dont even think that im jealous.. cuz trust me.. the guys she tries to impress is not my type.
okay.. well ladymadonna: Im so glad that ur friend found a good guy. And that Simone girl.. she is a B*itch. If i was there... i wud have b*tch slap her to china.
And that thing about 2 out of 3 women wud get raped? EWWWW!!! i have to be careful then.
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Post by Cassiopeia on Mar 4, 2002 1:57:05 GMT -5
I was in an abusive relationship for almost a year, starting 2 and a half years ago (when I first moved here). The guy lived down the street from me and I saw him almost every day. At first he was really sweet to me. But then he started hitting me in a joking way, and eventually it led to him hitting me when he was angry with me. It was just hitting either. He would also kick me, throw things at me, and he even bit me a couple times. Of course, he always apologized and was really sweet to me afterward. Either that, or he made me feel like it was my fault. And I did feel that way too. I thought that since I upset him, he was right to hit me, even though deep down inside I knew it wasn't right. And he also told me that I was just as bad for hitting him back (even though it wasn't nearly as hard and I was usually just defending myself). But it still didn't make it right for him to hurt me, even though I made myself think it did. He also verbally and emotionally abused me. He called me a bitch and a slut, and told me that no other guy would ever want me. He insulted my appearance and told me I was fat and ugly. He basically destroyed my self-esteem. Then he would act all nice to me and tell me I was beautiful, and I would think that he was the only one who thought that of me, so I stayed with him. I didn't break up with him until I started going out with another guy behind his back. I eventually told him that I was cheating on him, and I had both of them come to a birthday party I was having. He got insanely jealous of the other guy, and during the party he grabbed me and then pushed me down. One of my guy friends stood up for me, and my ex pushed him into a table. That was when I finally ended it with him. Then, being the dumbass I am, after I broke up with the other guy, I started going out with my ex who abused me again. I know that all he wanted from me was to hook up, even though he told me he loved me. He basically did the same shit to me again, and then I met another guy who I started dating. I broke up with him too, but I wasn't stupid enough to go back to my other ex again. I know that the whole situation was pretty much my fault. I feel like such a moron for letting a guy treat me like that, even though I told myself I never would. Because of that asshole, I've gone through a year and a half of therapy, and I still hate myself for being so stupid. That jerk ruined my confidence and self-esteem. But then again, I probably deserved it anyway.
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nzgirl
New Member
-I was bad_kitty3 on razz/chickclick -
Posts: 31
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Post by nzgirl on Mar 5, 2002 0:01:10 GMT -5
^ I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I'm not to good at giving at advice - but one thing I know for sure is that it wasn't in ANY way your fault, and you didn't deserve it! This guy abused and manipulated u - you didn't deserve it. That guy was a total jerk - he would have treated any woman he was with like that, so don't feel you deserved it or you caused it in any way - HES the one with the major problem, not u! I know you're a beautiful person inside and out and Im sorry you had to go through that experience. But remember, theres a guy out there, and he'll take care of you and treat you well. I know theres nothing I can really say to make you feel better - I wish there was. I know I'm not good at giving advice, but Im a great listener - if you ever need to talk, pm me! Take care! Lotsaluv xx
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Post by sunny.side.up on Mar 7, 2002 7:17:01 GMT -5
My friend was being sexually harassed by this guy from my school. It kept getting worse, he even threatened her boyfriend, and eventually she went to the police about this. Afterwards, there were 5 other girls who came to her to tell that he had done the same to them, but at first only 2 of them wanted to talk to the police about it (if they had enough witnesses, he would at least get suspended *forever*). And then today, one of those girls told my friend that he had raped her. She ran away crying after she told that, and of course she doesn't want to talk to the police about it... I think this is so disgusting. The guy who had raped her also threatened that he would do it again if she said anything about it. I think it's so sick. I mean, who knows what would have happened if my friend hadn't gone to the police? Now there are 4 girls who are willing to talk to the police, which is enough to get him suspended. But if the girl who was raped tells her story, he would of course get a worse punishment, which I think he so does deserve... Ugh. He just seemed pretty normal in every day life, although he could sort of be annoying... and he *is* very 'touchy', like once I suddenly felt a hand on my hip and it was him... I had only talked to him once then. *shudder* I really hope all of those girls start talking about it...
~*Esther*~
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Post by theLadyMadonna on Apr 6, 2002 0:42:10 GMT -5
^^ That's horrible. Just try to get her to talk to someone, even if it isn't the poice. She has to live with this her entire life and if she thinks she can do it alone, she's mistaken. If she won't talk to anyone, get her to talk to you. She needs help.
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